Lily's Story
by Feenix Child
Summary: The typical story of Lily and James... my version. Meh.
1. The New Year

The Hogwarts Express lay like a gleaming splash of paint against the grey as is chuffed gently alongside the platform 9 ¾, awaiting the start of the new school year. Students and parents milled around on the platform, the traditional colours of black, grey and silver melting into a mass of blankness. Yet, in this sea of nothingness, there were no frowns, tears or sad faces. It seemed as if the brightness of the train had spilled over into emotions, shunning away the depressing dreary overcast day and leaving only happy memories and elated faces. Younger children hung off a parents' arm, giggling and squealing happily, not a care in the world. Older students were hugging laughing parent's goodbye, and every now and then a doting mother would brush away a tear of pride.

Lily watched the scene around her and couldn't help but smile. Countless fellow students walked by, some giving a wave, others shouting out a greeting and earning a reprimanding slap on the arm from a mother for their efforts. She grinned as she watched Kenneth Hummel's mum give him a sharp slap across the back of the head after he had wolf whistled at Lily. He spun and cringed, despite the fact that he was a head taller then Mrs Hummel, and she had had to stand on tiptoe to attack him.

'Lily.'

She turned to face her parents and they smiled at her. Within a heartbeat, Lily's mother swooped down on her, pulling the final year student into a huge hug.

'We're so proud of you!'

"Mum…' Lily choked. 'You're kind of… strangling me…'

Mrs Evans backed off fast, her face red with embarrassment, but Lily just smiled brightly up at her. 'I know, I know. I'll be good, I'll study hard, I won't get into any fights… unless it involves a certain someone-.'

Lily's mother glanced over the top of her daughters' head and spied a tall boy with messy black hair, laughing with three other boys as they heaved their trunks onto the train.

'He can't be that bad.'

'He is.'

'But if you just-.'

The Hogwarts Express whistled loudly and Lily jumped at the opportunity. 'That's my cue! Bye!'

And before they could do or say anything, she kissed each on the cheek, flashed a brilliant grin, and in a whirl of fiery hair, she darted onto the train.

* * *

'Lily!'

A scream of giggles and a cloud of blonde hair plummeted into a stunned Lily. She struggled to keep her balance as the small blonde hugged her tight. "Hey!'

Lily laughed and pushed her hair out of her eyes. The corridor down the train was packed with people and voices echoed in the tiny space, making the noise deafening. The little blonde girl heaved a stunned and winded Lily into the closest compartment. Two heads turned towards her and split into identical grins.

Hannah, the blonde one, bounded over to the nearest seat and threw herself into it with a giggle. 'It's been ages! Oh, Lil, you have _no_ idea about what happened on the holidays! I couldn't fit it all in one letter so I thought I'd leave it until now-.'

Lily smiled indulgently at the twins, Anthea and Theressa. They knew very well just what Hannah was like. Once she decided there was a story to tell, she could go forever. Lily settled herself in for a long listen.

By the time the food trolley had come and gone, the woman guiding it down the corridors rolling her eyes subtly at Lily, a quirk of the mouth to show her amusement at Hannah's high speed detailed story telling, Hannah had almost run out of steam. Almost.

'Enough!' Theressa cried suddenly, running her fingers dramatically through her curly brown hair. She stared up at the ceiling, holding her head in her hands, as though she were looking into the face of some deity. 'Please, please, let that be enough! If there is anyone up there, anyone at all, enough of this torture, I've learned my lesson!'

'Which lesson is that, Tess?' Lily asked, as Hannah giggled good-naturedly. Tess shrugged.

'Never again should I resist the urge to tape Hannah up when she begins to talk.'

'Tess, if you're trying to be funny… it ain't working.' Anthea shrugged. For the best part of Hannah's story, Anthea had buried her nose in a magazine. Even now, she didn't look up, turning the page as she spoke.

'Yeah, well, you get that…' Tess answered with a grin. She turned back to Hannah, going against her own advice. 'Hannah, did you hook in with that boy, hmm?' She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. 'Give him the time of his life, huh, did you?'

Lily groaned and buried her head in her arms, her knees tucked up to her chest, her hands almost covering her bright head. She hardly even heard the compartment door slide open.

'You can't hide like that, Evans.'

She looked up and frowned slightly. One person she wasn't exactly best buddies with lounged in the doorway, one hand propped against the frame. He was effortlessly elegant, extremely handsome, and Lily could sense without looking the change in her friends'. The three of them suddenly straightened up, Tess ran her hand through her dishevelled hair, Hannah blinked hard and smiled and Anthea… well, she just glanced up and then away. That was all she had ever needed.

Lily bit her bottom lip. 'Can we help you in any way, Black?'

'Use your imagination.'

'I'm pretty sure cursing you is out of the question.'

He grinned, apparently not stung. 'You're getting good at this. This, back and forth insults.'

'You've never met my sister.'

'Ah. But I'm mates with lover boy.'

Tess laughed. 'Lily still thinks he doesn't like her like that.'

'He does not!' Lily's temper flared suddenly. With a stab of annoyance she noticed a glint of amusement in Sirius Black's eyes. Hopeless, she thought. There was not one guy who was interested in her like that. It wasn't like she was pretty or anything. I'm a tomboy! Honestly, where they get these silly daydreams.., she said to herself.

'Well, ladies,' Sirius Black gave a sweeping bow and grinned amiably at Lily. 'I'll go give him the fantastic news that you're looking exceptionally pretty today.'

He dodged the flying book and headed off down the corridor, his laughter still ringing in Lily's ears. Idiot, she thought.


	2. Home Sweet Home

The train pulled into Hogsmeade station with a loud hiss, steam billowing alongside the carriages. Lily jumped nimbly onto the platform, pulled her school robes around her and shivered in anticipation. She loved Hogwarts. Had done since she had caught her first glimpse of it across the icy cold waters of the lake. That night was so clear in her mind. Huddled into the corner of the tiny boat, lantern dangling just behind her, the light dancing on the little wavelets, turning the black water to liquid gold. And above her, the giant castle, lights glimmering in almost every window, magic just emanating from its huge steady form. It felt safe and warm and inviting. It felt like home.

Now, that's just what it was. While here, she missed her parents, her old friends, and her family. While back at home, she missed the mysterious corridors of the castle, the calming form of the silver lake, the dark forest. The magic. Lily smiled wistfully as she clambered into the horseless carriages. Home sweet home, she thought. Hannah, as per usual, yapped ceaselessly as the carriages lurched up the track and into the grounds. Lily zoned out after a while, daydreaming about everything and nothing.

'We're here!' Tess' voice called out, over Hannah's high speed chatter. Anthea reached over and levered her twin out of the carriage.

'Whoa! Hey, what was that for?' Tess grumbled as she caught herself from falling to her knees.

'You took too long.'

'Three second…'

'You were counting?'

'Speak for yourself.'

Lily laughed as the four of them trooped up the stairs. Hannah nudged Lily in the ribs and nodded her head towards a young man at the back of the group. Lily didn't even bother looking up to see who it was.

'Please. I thought you knew I don't care.'

'What I know and what you try to tell me are no where near the same thing, Lils.'

Lily rolled her eyes as she and Hannah followed a still bickering Tess and Anthea led them between the tables. 'He's immature and pathetic. Shallow. He thinks he's so good.'

'Oh, shut up.'

The four of them slipped on to their benches.

'I'm starving!'

A voice sliced through Hannah's chatter like a knife. Sirius Black plonked himself on to the bench opposite Lily and Hannah's head snapped up, her eyes wide. Lily groaned under her breat

'You only ate an hour ago.'

'A growing man has got to eat.'

'Man?' Tess snorted. 'You've got to be kidding me.'

'Nuh-uh.' Sirius shook his head, his eyes wide with seriousness. 'I'm all man. I thought you knew that.'

'I know enough about you to want to keep my extent of your personal knowledge at a minimum, thank you, Black!' Tess smiled innocently. The black haired boy sitting next to Sirius nudged him and grinned.

'She's got a point, Padfoot.'

'Got something to say?'

'Not really, you've heard it all before.'

Sirius shrugged. 'Well, James, in that case, where's my food?!'

Lily opened her mouth to reprimand him when an elderly wizard shuffled forward, a stool dangling from one hand, an old, worn and tattered hat cradled in the other. The hall seemed to ring with the sudden silence and the sound of the stool being put down was magnified by the deafening silence. The wizard sat the hat gently down on the stool and stepped back. A gap in the seam where the hat met the rim opened wide. Lily daydreamed through the entire song and sorting, hardly glancing up when the Gryffindor table erupted multiple times into fervent applause and cheering every time a first year was sorted into their house. Lily's huge green eyes flicked upwards once and met the deep brown eyes of the boy sitting opposite her. James smiled at her then returned to watching the Sorting.

Lily rolled her eyes. James Potter was not one of her favourite people in the world. He was selfish, self-centred, shallow, mean and a bully. He thought he was so good, and she absolutely hated the way he constantly ran his hand through his hair.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore stood and cleared his throat. All head turned towards the head table and the incessant chatter petered out.

'Welcome back to Hogwarts and another year!' he called out to the sea of upturned young faces. 'We have a new Tranfiguration teacher, Professor McGonagall.' A middle aged, stern looking witch stood and nodded her head slightly as the hall rang with polite applause. Dumbledore waited for the commotion to die down before he continued. 'So, with no further ado, let's eat!'

Sirius actually cheered as the platters filled with food and he began to load his plate with chicken. Tess raised an eyebrow.

'You're disgusting.'

Sirius shrugged, his mouth too full to answer, but obviously not full enough, as he jammed another piece of roast potato in. Lily couldn't help but smile. Somehow, her friends had accepted this motley group of boys and she didn't mind in the least. Beside Sirius perched Remus Lupin, an average blonde, quiet boy. On his frayed robes a Head Boy badge was sown on the breast. Lily silently wished him luck. Trying to juggle being Head Boy and his three friends seemed to her to be a huge task. He grinned over at Lily and she blushed, realising she had been surveying him far too long.

Anthea reached over and plucked a roll from the tower in front of Lily. 'That new Transfiguration teacher, have you seen her before? I have a feeling she'll be around a while.' Lily caught the tail end of the glance Tess shot at her twin. She knew that Anthea had a talent in Divination and this glance confirmed that there was more to Anthea's statement than most realised.

Sirius shrugged again and swallowed. 'Maybe. She looks a bit stuffy. I'll have to remedy that.' He winked at Hannah and she blushed and smiled back. James just shook his head.

'I don't know, Padfoot, this one looks unbreakable.'

Peter was staring in rapt attention as Sirius shoved a slice of roast lamb into his mouth, talking around chewing. 'You know me. I'll still have a go. Besides, there's not one teacher I've been dedicated to breaking that hasn't ended up in piece on the floor. Literally,' he added in a mutter. Lily remembered only too well his escapade with the student teacher last year. It had taken three weeks to re-assemble him after Sirius had distracted him halfway through a demonstration of how to apparate.

'That was not nice, Sirius,' Hannah scolded. 'The poor guy was constantly trembling for months after.'

'Hey, it was funny. I live to entertain.'

'More like drive insane.'

'That too.' He thrust another potato in his mouth and grinned at her.

Remus sighed. 'You give us Marauders a bad name, Padfoot.'

Anthea looked up suddenly. 'Marauders?'

The four boys looked at each other, suddenly and disturbingly quiet. Lily looked up and straight at James, who was rubbing the back of his neck nervously. She was surprised. He hadn't winked at any girls or messed up his hair yet.

Tess tisked and shook her head. 'You boys aren't getting out of it too easily. I want to know what this 'Marauders' thing is all about. But-,' she yawned widely and stretched then stood. 'I'm too tired to hear about it tonight. You have twenty four hours.' She smiled brightly, blew them a kiss and tramped off towards the doors. Lily, Hannah and Anthea got to their feet to follow. Halfway down the hall, Lily glanced over her shoulder. Sirius, Remus and Peter were deep in conversation. As she watched, James looked up at her, the expression in his eyes worried. Suddenly, she realised she hadn't spoken since the four boys joined them. Shaking her head slightly, she slipped out of the hall and headed for the common room.


	3. Wormtail, Moony, Padfoot and Prongs

'No!'

Lily looked up at Hannah over her breakfast. 'Something wrong?'

Hannah groaned as she lifted her brown eyes to stare imploringly at Lily, as if Lily could somehow make everything better. 'Double History. How boring!'

Lily just grinned and lowered her head again. She was skimming through her new Transfiguration book in earnest, Transfiguration being by far her favourite and best subject she loved to study it. Tess was sitting across from her, bopping up and down in her seat, humming loudly as she munched on her bacon as Anthea watched warily from the corner of her eye, shamed by her wild twin.

'Tess, can you shut up? Please?'

'No, I'm having fun.'

'Like I said, you belong in St Mungo's'

'Thank you kindly.'

'You have no shame.'

'Thank you again.'

Anthea groaned while Lily grinned. 'You're her twin. You should know better.'

With a nod, Anthea grumbled back, 'I should. But each and every day she comes up with something shocking and appalling, designed to humiliate me again.'

'No, I'm just collecting 'I don't know her's.'

'Hello ladies.'

The four boys trooped up to Lily, Hannah, the still bopping Tess and Anthea and deposited themselves next to and around them.

'Alright, kids, spill,' Tess demanded ceasing her incessant bopping, leaning forwards and planting her palms on the table, giving the appearance of an interrogation. Sirius glared across at Remus, who had let the name 'Marauders' slip out last night, took a deep breath and began. Fifteen minutes later, the girls were in shock.

'I don't believe you…' Tess whispered.

'We can prove it if you like,' James muttered. They had intentionally, and to Remus' relief, failed to mention the fact that not all of them were animagi.

Lily looked from one to the other. 'That explains your nicknames. Padfoot, Wormtail, Moony and Prongs…'

James looked at her sharply and caught her eye for a split second. 'You know, that's the first time I've heard you speak this year?'

Sirius elbowed James in the ribs and said, in a stage whisper, 'Hook in!'

To Lily's profound relief, Anthea chose this time to gather up her books and bag. 'Come on, first lesson.'

Hannah groaned again and rose to her feet. Lily laughed. 'Come on, it's not that bad! You'll survive this with plenty of table hockey games or magazines.'

Tess, Hannah and Anthea looked at each other and grinned mischievously. Their table hockey was renowned throughout the school and was a great source of entertainment during History classes. The three girls stepped away from the table and headed down the hall. Lily swept up her bag but, as she began to move away, a hand grasped her wrist.

'Lily!'

She turned. Todd, a seventh year from Hufflepuff, had a firm grip on her arm. 'Listen, I know you told me it was over last year but please… Just one more chance?'

Over Todd's shoulder she could see James glance up at her, her expression carefully neutral, then, as their eyes met, he looked away.

'Todd, please…'

'Lily, you honestly don't see something in him, do you?' He had noticed her share a look with James and his cheeks flushed angrily.

'No, of course I don't, I don't even like James Potter!' Before she could stop herself, she looked at James again. His face had dropped the even mask and now she didn't dare look in his eyes. He leant down, grabbed his bag, and stormed off. Lily felt numb with horror. She rested her hand on Todd's shoulder for a second, muttered a 'we will talk later' that had a small smile spreading across his face, and darted from the hall after James.


	4. Changes

'James, wait!'

Lily tore down the corridor after him. How did he walk so fast, she thought angrily. She could tell by the way he held his head and the way he held himself so strictly that he was mad. James stopped abruptly without turning and Lily skidded past him, her foot catching on loose stone. She gasped and the swooping feeling in the pit of her stomache knocked her breath away as she began to fall.

'Whoa!'

James dropped his bag and reached out, catching her just in time. Lily raised her huge green eyes to his hazel ones. 'Thank you,' she breathed. He helped her stand upright then backed off, a scowl on his face. Now that she was looking at him the words of apology escaped her. Lily stood there, silently. His face might have been angry, but his eyes were upset.

'Well? Are you going to say anything?'

'I didn't mean it…'

'Oh, save it!' he spat, angrily. Lily had never seen him this mad before. 'James Potter, the evil little brat who loves to curse and humiliate random kids, is that how you see me? Well? You know what, we have to grow up some time and I did a hell of a lot of growing up over the summer. How stupid of me, to think that little princess Lily of the lake would actually see me and think, hey, he's not the screwed up little brat he used to be, it might be good being FRIENDS with him! But I'm still not good enough for you, am I? I guess I never will be. Maybe it's you that needs to do some growing up now!'

He glared at her for a second or two as she stood stock still, stunned and stung by his speech, then his face changed. And this one shock Lily even more. James hitched his bag higher and marched past her. Lily watched until he had disappeared and a horrible feeling settled inside her.

He was right.

* * *

'Lily, hey, hello, wake up!'

Tess clapped her hands loudly in front of Lily's face and she raised her fiery head. 'What?'

'What's up, you haven't spoken since this morning? Did you break your quill?'

'Don't be stupid.'

'Can't help it.'

Hannah piped up from the sofa. 'Seriously, Lily, you have been very quiet today.'

'You know, Hannah, it's hard to take you seriously when you're lying upside down on the sofa like that, get up! You look ridiculous!'

'I'm doing my hair.'

'Like that?'

'Well, there's a lot of it.'

'She and James had a fight.'

A silence descended on the room. Anthea hadn't looked up from her book as she spoke. Tess, stared at her sister, while Hannah collapsed in a shocked heap on the floor. Lily looke dup. How had she guessed?

'I heard James talking to Sirius today.' She looked over the top of her book at Lily. 'You really upset him, James was blabbing on about you for a good hour.'

Lily's jaw dropped and James voice echoed yet again in her mind. 'I'm still not good enough for you, am I?' But she shook her head. Not possible.

'Of course.' Hannah shrugged as if she wasn't surprised. 'James has had a serious thing for our Lils for years.'

'Oh, give me a break.' Lily muttered.

'No, I don't think we will,' Tess grinned from the other side of the room. 'Because you like him back.'

'I do not!'

'Then why are you so upset?'

'Because I upset another human being, alright?'

Hannah, Tess and Anthea all snorted their disbelief. Lily stood and stomped from the room, out of the portrait and down towards the library. None of the girls followed her. With the red hair came a temper and, when Lily was mad, you didn't get in her way. Although, Lily thought unwillingly, it seemed like James had a temper to match hers.

'Hey, Lily!'

Todd was heading down the corridor towards her. 'Talk now?'

Lily nodded. Todd took a deep breath. 'I have changed, I really have. Please, be my girlfriend again?'

His voice swept over her. She didn't like him in that way anymore. He made her feel so small all the time, as if she was never good enough for him. But if she did get back together with Todd maybe she could cut her friends off before the hints and jokes about James became public.

'Yes, Todd,' she muttered, and she felt miserable.


	5. Friend or Foe?

'Geez, Lils, you've been here one week and already you're causing trouble,' Hannah muttered, flicking a ball of parchment the size of her thumbnail across the table, to be stopped from landing in the makeshift goal made out of two inkpots by Tess. 'You need to back off with the whole twisting-men's'-hearts thing.'

'It's not like I've broken his heart.'

'That's it!' Tess cried, looking over at Lily. The ball of paper shot into the goals and she swore, then turned to face Lily. 'Enough of this. I think it's time we made friends with the Marauders.'

A silence filled the room. Lily choked on the piece of apple she was munching. 'Ar oo 'iddin?!'

'English?'

Lily swallowed. 'Are you kidding? We've hated them for ages! Think back to when they used to pick on random unpopular people..'

'Yes. Used to,' Tess emphasized. Anthea blinked and turned her head to stare into the fire, her chin rested on her palm. Hannah leant back in the sofa, a thoughtful look on her face. Lily was shaking her head.

'No. No, no, no. Not possible. No way. We can't! It would go against everything we ever believed in.'

'Lily, open your eyes! Have you not seen anything? Sirius sits quietly in class and takes down notes. James offers people a helping hand whenever he can and they stop their incessant chatter about Quidditch, they've grown up!'

'Yes, we have.' Remus appeared from the foot of the stairs to the boy's dorm. 'Don't worry, the others aren't here. Look, Sirius got a rude awakening during the holidays and James… well, he grew up. For a good reason.' Tess almost grinned as Remus glanced sideways at Lily. 'Just one week. A trial run.'

'Remus and I talked about it the other day,' Anthea piped up quietly. The two of them looked at each other and smiled.

'Whoa, yo, guys, snap out of it!' Tess yelled. Remus and Anthea both jumped visibly and looked at the bubbly, excitable Theressa. In front of the fire, Tess' hair shone, the dark curls glinting with golden lights. Sirius came galumphing down the stairs and stopped short at the sight of her. No one noticed him.

Lily spoke up. 'Yes. Maybe you're right, I mean, we should all be friends, right? The big problem is James.'

'No, the big problem is you and James. Together.'

Lily closed her eyes with a sigh. Anthea took the hint and stood up, stretching. Unlike Tess, her hair fell straight down her back, long and raven dark. 'How about,' she started slowly, 'we just start off as companions and work on a friendship. You and James can sort things out at your own pace.' Lily raised her great green eyes to Anthea's face. Whenever she spoke slowly, her eyes misty like they were now, Lily knew Anthea was thinking hard, different scenarios racing through her mind, almost categorically. To Lily, it seemed like Anthea would go through each one and pick out the best, then, speaking slowly and calmly, would tell the others her opinion. Tess nodded, her eyes dark and wide. Sirius moved slowly backwards up the stairs, a small smile on his face. Friends. It would do.

* * *

Hannah groaned and flung herself onto the sofa, tilting her head back to look at Lily. 'I'm bushed.'

'I noticed.' Both girls looked up as Remus, Sirius, James and Peter all came, laughing, into the room. All but Sirius.

'Moony, really, it wasn't that funny.'

'Are you kidding?' Remus hooted with laughter. 'Someone manages to knock you off your feet with a perfectly aimed dung bomb and it's not funny? Give me a break.'

Hannah sat upright, an impish grin lighting her face. 'Tell me it really happened!'

But one whiff of Sirius as he stomped past and sauntered up the stairs told her all she needed to know.

'Good idea Padfoot!' James called up the stairs. 'Go have a shower.'

A spiteful voice echoed down the stairs. 'Don't make me curse you, Prongs. Because I will, willingly.'

'Damn straight, he will,' Remus said quietly, still grinning, as he deposited himself on the sofa beside Hannah.

James just shrugged and flung himself lengthways across a huge, squishy chair. Lily moved towards the fire and settled down in front of it, her hair twisted into a rope over her shoulder. She glanced up at James as he relaxed lazily in his seat. She knew very well that she hardly spoke in front of the Marauders, but she couldn't think of a thing to say.

'Lils, hey!' Hannah snapped her fingers in front of Lily's face. 'Honestly, girl, you've become such a dreamer lately. How many times have we had to snap you out of-.'

'Ok, I get the point!'

Hannah's mouth shut suddenly and she stared in amazement. Sirius, standing at the foot of the stairs, froze, Peter sneezed, Remus' eyes widened and James turned to look at Lily, her hair glowing as if it were on fire and her eyes glinting with anger. Lily hardly ever snapped at her friends, unless they really asked for it. She looked around at them all, her eyes resting on James last. Then she looked away. 'I'm sorry,' she whispered.

'Yo!' Tess came bounding into the room, followed closely by Anthea, and pounced on Sirius, before backing away twice as fast. 'Whoa, what happened to you, fall into a seething pit of rotten eggs?'

'Thank you. That's very kind of you to notice.'

The tension in the room faded and Lily relaxed, tipping sideways and propped her head up with her arm, her hair falling in a curtain around her face.

'She's got a point, Sirius.' James grinned lazily over at him. 'I can smell you from here.'

'I already had a shower!'

'Try another one, then,' Tess shot back calmly, stripping the peel off a banana that she pulled from her bag.

'You try washing off the smell of a dung bomb someone through at you.'

The piece of banana Tess had just bit off flew from her mouth, Lily ducking as it shot over her into the fire, and Tess bent double, laughing hard. 'Who… was… the legend… who managed… that?!' she gasped out, howling with laughter.

Sirius scuffed his foot on the floor. 'Some third year…'

This, I'm afraid, was it for Tess, who collapsed in a heap on the floor, her body convulsing with laughter. Lily couldn't help herself, as could no one else. Everyone erupted into howls of mirth, and Sirius, realising how funny it was that a third year had got the better of him when no one else had, smiled cheekily.

'Hey, at least now we're all good mates.'

'Yes,' James said, with a bright smile. 'United by your repugnant smell. Great. That should be our motto. In Latin.'


	6. The Danger of Self Destruction

Lily, Remus, Anthea and James were sitting in the library, poring over a pile of books. Lily groaned and pushed the giant, leather bound book away from her, resolving to examine her friends. Anthea had her head bent low over her length of parchment, her hand writing furiously. Her dark hair constantly slid forwards off her shoulders, hiding her tanned face from view. She wasn't tall, just average all over. Anthea was the serious version of Tess. While Tess had the wild curls, the bright dancing dark eyes and the tendency to bop, Anthea was cool, calm and collected.

Remus was quiet, but not reluctant to laugh and smile. He was pale, always had been, and constantly looked exhausted, his brown hair straight and longish, almost as long as Sirius', and his eyes were a deep, dark blue. James, on the other hand, was full of energy, his hair jet black and messy, his eyes a light and merry hazel. James looked up and met Lily's eyes. She blushed and looked away, as Todd entered the library and headed over.

'Lily,' he called quietly. 'There's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up. Shall we go together?'

James moved abruptly behind Lily. They had never really rectified the argument and had just treated each other like indifferent acquaintances. Lily nodded. Todd hunkered down beside her chair.

'You know, I think we should go to the Quidditch store. I mean, I know you aren't too great at it, but I've got some things I'd like to look at. And Zonko's, I should really get you to try some of those practical jokes things, you need a bit of humour in you…'

Lily nodded and made agreeable noises while her face burned with humiliation. She let Todd talk, and with every word that came out of his mouth she felt more and more pathetic, insignificant and stupid. He had a way of making her feel like she was beneath him. Finally he stood and grinned down at her, said goodbye and sauntered from the library. Lily turned back to the table. James, seated near her, whispered across, so the others couldn't hear.

'Why do you let him talk to you like that?'

Lily just looked at him for a moment. She blinked blankly at him, gathered up her books and stood, looking down at him. 'Why not? He's right.'

Lily looked down at her feet then walked out of the library, leaving James staring, horrified, at her back.

* * *

Lily trudged miserably down the corridor, her hair hanging in front of her face, hiding her feet from sight. Self-effacing thoughts raced through her mind.

_He's right. I'm useless, I'm lucky to have someone like him interested in me. It's not like I could get anyone better. I'm too stupid, too ugly, I say dumb things, I do everything wrong… even James hates me._

She settled down on the base block of a statue of a goblin, leaning forward with her hands covering her face.

_What's the use? What's the point in pretending anymore, I shouldn't be here! I'm not clever enough to survive my NEWTs, I'll fail for sure. I don't know why I bother._

'Lily?'

She looked up suddenly, trying, in vain, to wipe all expression but surprise from her face. But James saw right through her. He knelt on one knee in front of Lily and, to her amazement, he gently lifted her hair away from her face. The look on his face was so concerned she felt her stomache flip.

'Hey, it's not true, whatever he makes you think.'

Lily shook her head slowly, unable to look away. 'No, he's right. I'm stupid, I shouldn't be here…'

James was shaking his head. 'No,' he said, firmly. 'You're smart and funny and beau- I mean, talented. Here.' He reached over and gently gathered up her mass of wavy red hair, tucking it behind her head. He reached up and brushed a golden fiery lock out of her eyes. 'That's better. People like looking at your eyes. They're very pretty. Todd is no good for you.'

'Then who is?' Lily asked, her voice hushed and heavy with despair. James just shrugged then reached forwards and pulled her into a hug, his hand resting buried in her hair.

'Don't talk about yourself like this. And don't waste yourself on a self important scumbag like Todd. Whoever you chose they should cherish you, otherwise they don't deserve you. You are… well, special.'

Lily sniffed, her face buried in James' neck. He had forgiven her, he must've. Gently, she pulled away and smiled at him helplessly. 'If that's true, why do I feel so worthless?'

She stood and walked away and, this time, James let her go. He nodded to himself and allowed himself a small smile. Lily liked him, now. He could settle for friends, for the time being. Right now, he decided, it was time to deal with Todd.


	7. A Fight for Self Esteem

**B:** _Hopefully you find this chapter funny because, I have to admit, me and my vivid imagination found it pretty classic. My fingers were moving so fast as I wrote it, I was hardly concentrating on the words, but then I reread it and giggled my head off the whole way through. Oh well, different people have different senses of humour. Enjoy!_

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Lily lay on her stomache, a book laying open on the grass in front of her. With a sigh, she lifted her nose from the pages and turned her head, staring out across the lake. A tiny smile touched her face. The sun glinting on the glassy water, the trees on the rim of the forest swaying in the breeze and the flowers still left from a long summer made her feel so at home. It was so peaceful here. Well, for the time being.

'GERONIMO!'

Lily gasped for breath as Tess pounced on her, knocking the wind from her lungs. With an elated hoot, Sirius came tearing across the grounds after her, closely followed in hot pursuit by James, Hannah, Peter, and, following more sedately, Anthea and Remus. Tess laughed and rolled away, her voice light and breezy with excitement.

'We heard you were upset-.'

'-so we've come to cheer you up,' Anthea finished, smiling brightly.

Sirius flopped down on the grass beside Lily, picked up her book and flipped through it. 'Boring. I could never understand this.'

Tess snorted. 'Only because it doesn't have pretty pictures in it.' She batted her eyelashes innocently, which nobody fell for, and was rewarded for her efforts by Sirius leaning forwards to tickle her madly in the waist. Lily could help but laugh.

'Well, Lilikins,' James said sitting himself down with the others in a huge, rowdy group and automatically picking up a stick, shredding the bark away with his nails. 'I think it's time we had some fun. Besides, it's too hot to lounge around out here studying. I think you need… a little swim.'

Lily shrieked but moved too slowly. James and Sirius scooped the small girl up bodily and the three of them plummeted into the lake.

'James!' Lily cried and, grabbing his head, pushed it under water for a second. 'You're such a-!'

'Clown?' he gasped, spluttering as he pushed his head back above the silvery surface of the lake. 'I know, ain't it great?'

She answered him by splashing him full in the face with a double handful of water. Sirius picked her up around the waist, lifted her high in the air and dumped her back into the water. The five still left on relatively dry ground were laughing madly, Tess holding her stomache as she howled her delight. Lily took the liberty of splashing the others then stomped out of the lake, her hair plastered to her back and a bright smile lighting up her face.

'Lily!'

The smile faded as she looked up. Todd was marching disapprovingly across the grounds. 'What do you think you're doing? You're soaked!'

A feeling of resentment rose inside her. She was sick of being humiliated, patronized and put down. 'I'm having fun, I can do that once in a while, can't I? Or does that oppose your ideals of women?'

The others fell silent around her. Lily's green eyes were blazing angrily and her dark red hair flashed in the bright hot sunlight. Obviously no one had ever stood up to Todd before, especially a female, because he didn't take the hint.

'A woman should behave herself.'

'And run house and home, raise the children and be a good housewife.'

'Exactly,' Todd said automatically. Lily sook her head and laughed aloud in amazement.

'You sick, twisted, sexist pig. Now you listen to me.' She sauntered up to him and poked him in the chest. He winced and rubbed his chest where her finger had struck him. Remus, James and Sirius snorted. 'Women are not here for your amusement. Women are not to be silenced and women can kick your ass whenever we damn well feel like it!'

Tess whooped and punched her fist in the air. 'Girl power.'

Todd glared at Lily and muttered, 'Little bitch…'

James and Sirius stopped laughing, their faces drained white and they launched themselves at Todd, fists flying.

'Go for the balls!' Tess shrieked from behind Lily. Hannah gasped and cheered as Todd curled into a ball, James' fist smashing into Todd's stomache. Remus had more sense than to get into the fight and stood back with Anthea, neither going to Todd's aid nor joining in with bashing the living daylights out of him. Peter cowered in the background.

Lily let the two boys go for a while then leant forward and grabbed a hold of James' arm and Sirius shoulder, pulling them back from the bruised and bloody Todd as he lay on the grass. James glared viciously down at Todd as Sirius grinned, happy that he'd finally got into a fight. With a light kick at Todd's leg, he spat down at him 'Get out of my sight. And if I ever hear you insulting Lily or any other girl, I'll kill you.'

Todd scrambled to his feet, spat at the ground between James' feet and marched off towards the castle, Lily clinging onto James' arm to keep him from running and body slamming Todd through the stone castle wall.

Tess turned and high-fived Hannah. 'That was awesome!'

Lily smiled, and then turned to look over James and Sirius. Both seemed relatively unharmed, but James had a split lip. He grinned, though. 'I highly enjoyed that. I've wanted to beat the hell out of that slimy toad since… for ages.'

Sirius wiped his forehead with the back of his arm and flung his other arm around Tess. 'Did you say Todd or toad?'

'Who cares?' Anthea snorted. 'Both mean the same thing.'

Everyone turned to stare in amazement at the usual kind, soft-hearted Anthea. She shrugged.

'Well, why can I be mean every once in a while?'

Lily laughed and gave James a quick hug and he draped his arm chummily around her neck. 'Come on, I'm freezing now. And after Sirius and I save the damsel in distress it'll destroy the story if we all got sick. Besides, I'm hungry.'

Tess rolled her eyes as she jumped onto Sirius' back, for a piggyback ride. 'Hungry again. Bloody males.'

'But what would you do without us?' Remus grinned, as he bent to pick up Lily's discarded book.

'A hell of a lot better, thank you very much. Lily could easily have kicked that Toad's butt without Padfoot's and Prong's chivalrous intervention.'

'Hey,' Sirius shrugged, almost dislodging Tess, who clung tighter to his neck. He coughed and tugged lightly at her arm. 'Not so tight. Anyway, we make fights look good, us being so damn good looking and all.'

The girls just laughed as the sun set over the lake behind them.


	8. Best Friends

A huge thump echoed around the common room as Lily stepped of the foot of the stairs. Looking around, she found Sirius had just rugby tackled James around the waist and pinned him to the wall. Hannah was laying on her stomache in the middle of the room, grinning and yelling out her support, changing her mind every five seconds and cheering first James, then Sirius. Anthea and Remus were lazing back on the sofa, Anthea's legs draped over Remus' and Peter was sitting cross-legged on the floor, his eyes wide and his entire body twitching with excitement.

Lily backed up silently, an evil grin on her face, as Sirius and James separated, panting. Hannah giggled.

'You two look…'

'Gay?' Tess finished off, as she trooped into the common room. She stopped and looked carefully at the two boys then grinned impishly. 'Actually, you do-.'

She dodged a flying pillow sent by James and sauntered over to a nearby chair. Lily, from her vantage point, watched and appraised her gang of mates.

Tess had a habit of taking control of a room. When she walked in the door, unlike Lily, people turned and looked. She was the light and humour of the world, not caring what people thought and taking all criticism as a way of improving, instead of an insult. Tess was a tomboy, like Lily, but was louder, brighter and ruder. She and Sirius, Lily thought, would be brilliant together.

While Anthea was quiet and reserved, Hannah more than made up for any silence. Her loud, fast paced chatter could be heard across the grounds and now, it pierced through the air and Lily jumped a foot.

'Oi, Lily, get out here!'

Lily mooched out of her hiding spot, shamefaced, and grinned apologetically around at everyone.

'Spying, were you? We have strict punishment for spies…' Sirius said with a wink.

'Oh, shut up Black.' Tess grinned at him and he poked his tongue out. 'I have an announcement. That new teacher, McGonagall-.'

'The one that put Sirius on his butt when he tried to prank her?'

'The very one, and quit with the interruptions. There shall be, this year, amongst the fifth, sixth and seventh years, a Christmas Ball.'

All seven of them stared at Tess in silence. 'Ball?' James finally choked out. 'Does that mean we have to have partners?'

'Yep!' Tess said brightly.

Sirius swore and James rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Hannah smiled up at James. 'Oh, don't worry, you've already got your partner sorted.'

Lily opened her mouth to argue angrily again that she and James were never going to get together when Hannah interrupted. 'Sirius, of course!'

Sirius slipped his arm around James' waist and answered in a low, husky voice, 'Oh, I want him so much, he's the man of my dreams…'

Tess bent at the middle, feigning retching. Remus laughed and shrugged. 'Always knew you two were the perfect couple.

The days passed slowly. By the end of the week Lily had already been driven out of her mind by the constant chatter about hair, makeup and robes.

'Why can't girls be more sensible and discuss proper things? Like sport?' she and Tess constantly moaned to the Marauders. The boys would usually follow this with a shrug. The ball wasn't for months and Lily only cared right now about her studies. Which drove her friends mad. Countless solitary study sessions were ruined by her friends charging in and demanding a break. By the time the Hogsmeade weekend was upon them, Lily was at breaking point.

'I swear,' she said wearily, shaking her head in despair as Hannah sat on the desk Lily was sitting at. 'I need to get some leashes for you all. Or, at the very least, cow prods.'

Hannah poked Lily's cheek. 'Oh, you wouldn't brand us!'

Lily stared at her for a moment. 'I thought you were a Muggle born.'

'I am…' Hannah stared back. 'Isn't a cattle prod used to mark the animals?'

Lily dropped her head into her arms with a groan of frustration and Hannah patted the top of her head reassuringly. 'There there,' she said.

The students gathered at the foot of the steps to the castle early the next day. The wind had adopted a bite to it, and blew without remorse. In irritation, most girls had tied their hair tight back off their face. For Lily, surprisingly, this was the first time in public her hair had ever been tied back off her face. Remus stared at her.

'I hardly recognised you!'

'Thanks,' she muttered sarcastically, sure he had meant it as censure, rather than a compliment.

'Come on, everyone!' Professor Wittleberry called from the front. As one, the mob of students wrapped their cloaks tighter around their freezing bodies and trudged down the track towards Hogsmeade Village, chattering ceaselessly.


	9. Hogsmeade

**B: **_These chapters are kinda dodgey because I've been trying too hard to think up new ones. So just let me get through these boring ones and the good stuff will come soon... hopefully. Feel free to skip if boredom sets in!_

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Hogsmeade was such a pretty little place, full of fairytale buildings and, in winter, coated in a mystical looking layer of snow. The younger students darted ahead, scattering as, for some, it was their first time in Hogsmeade. James muffled a shout of laughter with a cough as Hannah was almost bowled over by a small group of young Hogwarts students who, in their haste to get to Zonkos, had swarmed around the tiny blonde like a wave of locusts.

It was only October, but Lily shuddered as an icy cold wind blasted between the folds of her cloak. Glancing over her shoulder she noticed Anthea, Tess, Sirius and Remus in deep discussion.

'You really think he'll last very long? I mean with Dumbledore… who's more powerful?'

'I think the person who'll defeat him will be someone… someone we won't suspect.' Anthea looked up and caught Lily's eye. Lily looked away suddenly. She refused to be concerned with Voldemort until it could no longer be ignored. For now, she was content with school, family and friends.

'Hey, Lil, wait up!'

Lily froze in horror and disgust as a voice floated up the street towards her. James, who had just caught up with the red-headed tomboy and had been about to engage her in a riveting conversation regarding Quidditch (or so he thought) looked over his shoulder and sneered. 'Toad…' he hissed.

Todd caught up with Lily and smiled brightly. 'So, where should we go?'

Lily gaped at Todd in astonishment. Umm, hello, she thought. What part of 'I hate you, get away from me' do you not understand?

'Todd?' Lily asked, tentatively. 'Are you feeling alright?'

Lily could almost feel James trembling furiously just behind her. Distantly, she heard Sirius shout to Tess 'What the hell is Toad doing here?'

Todd just shrugged. 'I assumed you'd get over it. I mean, I forgive you, Lily, I know your temper gets the better of you sometimes-.'

It was only Lily's hand on James' arm that stopped him from lunging forward and snapping Todd's neck on the spot. 'Todd, listen to me,' Lily said calmly. 'I don't like you. You're rude, conceited, vain and selfish. You make me feel like I'm not good enough to walk on the same dirt as you… and I know damn well that it's the complete opposite.'

Todd's face flushed and he drew himself up arrogantly. 'Well. I see you haven't changed your mind-.'

'And I don't intend to. Honestly, Todd, you're such a…' She was cut off by a tap on her shoulder. Without looking away from Todd, she tilted her head, hinting the person should start talking. Sirius gave a stage whisper and, at his words, the colour drained from Todd's face.

'Can I thump him now? Please? I'll pay, really, I just really want to make him bleed.'

Lily grinned. 'Sure.'

But Todd had already wheeled around and begun charging at full pelt back up the street.

'That's right, run!' Sirius shook his fist at Todd's back. 'You run, Toad, or we'll all beat the living magic out of you!'

Tess chuckled merrily. 'What a wuss. I've never seen anyone move so fast.'

'Come on,' Anthea tugged at Lily's arm. 'Let's get out of here.' But Lily couldn't help but glance over her shoulder at James. His face was blank, the cheeks still flushed from the fury which had been pumping through him just a few moments ago. Why should he care? Lily thought to herself.


	10. The Yin Yang

'The world we live in is balanced, light and dark, cold and warm and, most importantly, good and evil. The race that first managed to capture this in the briefest and least complicated way was the Chinese.'

Professor Patebrey moved around the classroom slowly, handing out books to each pupil. Lily sat with her book open on her table. Patebrey handed out the last book and stepped up towards her desk, turning to face the class and, folding her arms, leant back against the table. Todd sat on the opposite side of the classroom and, out of the corner of her eye, Lily watched him glare at her. To aggravate him, she smiled brightly back, not seeing the rude gesture Sirius made at Todd behind her back. Patebrey ignored them, although she watched with interest.

'They condensed their beliefs down into the Yin and Yang. Although most hang ridiculous pendants around their homes for good luck, they can not cherish the exact purpose of this symbol. Which is…? Miss Scayle?'

Anthea looked up, blinked, and answered, straight faced. 'The Yin and Yang show the opposites of the world, Yin, the black, meaning all that's bad, Yang, meaning all that's good. It's a symbol of the way things are balanced in the world.'

'Precisely, five point to Gryffindor. So, according to this, simplifying it down, if you have a bad week this week, next week you may win the Quidditch cup.'

Sirius laughed. 'Great, at this rate I'll be a millionaire by the time I'm twenty!'

A ripple of laughter ran through the class. Professor Patebrey grinned, waited for the laughter to die down, then continued.

'If something changes to its opposing state, it is as if the wheel has turned and Yin and Yang have swapped places. You may love someone one day hen hate them the next. However, that must be evened out. You will love someone you once hated.'

Lily dropped her chin into her palm. She hadn't ever thought that something as simple as the Yin and Yang could be so complex.

'Well, that was an interesting lesson. Not.' Sirius trudged alongside Lily and James as they headed for the Great Hall for lunch. The others had left ahead of them at Lily's orders, once Patebrey had asked the three of them to stay behind, for a quite word about their last essay results. Top three in the class.

Lily just shook her bright head. 'Maybe for you. But then again, it was pretty meaningful for me. I mean, there've been a lot of changes lately.'

'Dude!' Tess waved madly from her seat at the Gryffindor table. 'Black! Get over here, check this out!'

She had a Quidditch magazine propped open against a jug of pumpkin juice and gestured dramatically at the newest released model of broomstick. Sirius plonked himself down beside her.

'Very feminine. Would suit you well.'

Tess frowned. 'You have a great talent of pushing peoples buttons. Jab away at them all day, you would, if we let you.'

Hannah snorted. 'He's jabbed my buttons millions of times!' The group fell silent and stared at Hannah, who blushed a deep crimson, lowering her head over her plate. 'In the non-literary sense, of course…'

Sirius shugged. 'Whatever you say. You know, I always thought women belonged in the kitchen. I think I've just been proved right.' He scooped up a huge piece of roast lamb and jammed it in his mouth, grinning roguishly over Tess' head at Lily. Lily didn't even bother to fight back, Hannah was doing it well enough, as her voice rose angrily, talking so fast that only intense concentration could decipher the spaces between sounds, forming words. Lily, in a world of her own, let the stream of sound flow over her. A horrible feeling had settled in the pit of her stomache and now, with a sigh, she pushed herself to her feet.

'… and what's more, women could run this world so much better without- Lily, what's wrong?' Hannah had hardly paused for breath. James looked up and caught Lily's eyes for a moment, but Lily just shook her head.

'Nothing… nothing at all, I'm just tired, that's all. I'll see you all later.'

She turned and headed off down the corridor.

'Hey, wait up!'

Lily glanced over her shoulder as a panting James skidded to a halt, jamming his glasses back onto his nose. He peered at her minutely, as if searching every nook and cranny in her mind for the feeling of uneasiness in her. James just shrugged, hoisting his bag higher on his shoulder. 'What's up?' he asked lamely.

Again, Lily shook her head, the words tumbling out of her mouth. 'I don't know, I've just got this terrible hunch that something is wrong. Anthea looked worried today, as well, and she kept looking at me strange-.'

An owl swooped in through the window, settling on the banister to the great staircase. The letter clutched in its beak was addressed to Lily. She paled, reaching out to slowly take the letter from the barn owl. It gave a polite hoot, spread its wide wings and, with one graceful beat of its wings, rose into the air and glided back out of the window. Lily slid her finger into a corner of the envelope, slit the paper open and pulled out a letter. She read once, twice, and the letter fell from her hands, fluttering to the cold stone floor.

James watched her, watched as all the colour drained from Lily's already pale face, watched as she began to shake and choke on her own breath, watched as she stumbled blindly backwards and sat heavily down on the stairs. He bent, picked up the letter, and began to read.


	11. The Letter

**B: **_I changed my mind about this chapter. Before I wrote it I decided heaps of detail, detail will create a heart wrenching chapter. Then, halfway through, I decided against it. The less detail the more imagination needed for the reader. This way, you can all make up your own mind what it was like._

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_

_Dear Miss Lily Evans_

_It is my deep regret to inform you that at __6:49__ this morning, October the twenty third, your parents were murdered by You-Know-Who. We shall, of course, await your chosen guardian's decision on your future place of residence and finances in regards to your impending life subsequent to your graduation from __Hogwarts__School__ of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Until then, you will continue to reside at the school._

_Again, my sincere apologies._

_Yours truly,_

_Frederick Hubnick_

_Minister for Magic_

Lily had her face in her hands as James lowered himself down on the step beside her. She wasn't crying, she was in shock, her eyes closed and face white. James slid his arm around her and pulled her against him. She skin was icy cold and clammy, her breath harsh in her throat and she was trembling violently. It was somehow worse than if she had been screaming.

Time seemed to have a life of its own. Lily, later that week, couldn't remember how long she and James had sat there. All she could remember was the deep, empty feeling of grief. The chill of the air, James' arm around her, and the sounds of students moving around the school never registered. All she could think of was her parents standing on the platform as she sat in the train, them waving her goodbye and Lily expecting that, once the year was over, she'd go home and they'd still be there, her mother to fuss over how little she ate, her father to make the weakest jokes which, considering they were so weak, made her laugh anyway.

Finally she moved. Lifting her head she reached for the letter and read it again. You-Know-Who. Pathetic, even the minister couldn't say the name. Voldemort. She whispered it aloud and felt James' arm tighten automatically around her shoulders.

'Come on,' he said, quietly. He stood and reached out for her hand, helping her to her feet. 'Let's take you back to the common room, alright?'

Lily was shaking so badly that she could hardly keep her balance. All at once emotions had started to pump through her, hate, anger, misery, loneliness. So much for ignoring Voldemort. She'd kill him with her bare hands.

James took one look at the expression on Lily's face and blinked. He had never seen her so furious, not even when she abused him two years ago for jinxing Severus Snape. But he kept his firm grip on her arm and led her up through the castle to Gryffindor common room. Dumbledore would know what happened by now and, if Lily and James were absent from a few classes, he'd know why.

The huge squashy sofa looked so enticing to Lily that immediately she felt guilty. She knew she shouldn't want to rest; she should stay up and think about her parents. She should…

James guided her to the sofa and made her sit down although, considering the lack of effort to push him away, it wasn't too much of a feat.

'It won't do any good to stay up all night,' he coaxed, as he waved his wand and a blanket draped itself over the curled up form of Lily. She muttered protestation, weakly trying to move the blanket away from her face. The blanket, however, didn't agree and pushed Lily back down, covering her up to the neck. James had jinxed the blanket to watch over Lily and make sure she rested well. Grief needed energy, James determined, and wearing herself out was not going to help in the long run. He sat beside her and tucked a wild curling strand of fiery red hair from her face.

'Thank you…' she murmured, then her green eyes closed and Lily slept.


	12. The Dead Heart

**B:**_ Heya guys, thanks for the reviews. I'm actually posting so fast because I started writing this story about a week before posting on the site, so I'm way ahead. Oh, and if you want to read a really fantastic story that I know very well the author thinks is dodgey, look up Bella Catherina in my favourites. It's an awesome story and I really think everyone should read it. Woo, free plug, sorry, Cat, couldn't help myself. Ok, on with the story..._

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Lily's eyes flickered open and she peered around the room as if in a haze. A few moments later she realized what had waken her. The common room echoed with murmurs, as people surrounding the sofa she was curled up in talked over her. They still hadn't noticed she had woken, the curtain of hair covering her face and shielding her eyes from the people surrounding her. All Lily wanted to do was go back to sleep, drift off into blackness and never wake up. Numbness filled her heart and she could feel nothing. But Lily was extremely intelligent. She may not feel it now, but later… the thought of what was to come was terrifying. So she buried her head in the sofa and willed the people away.

Suddenly, as though someone had answered her wish, one voice, from the sofa she was laying on at the other end, spoke up, and the voices faded silently away, after only a moment or two of protest, accompanied by muffled footsteps. The person who had spoken had only just moved enough for Lily to realize her legs were draped over theirs but she couldn't be bothered moving. However, this person, too, was no fool. No matter how he had acted in the past.

'Lil…' James muttered, leaning over her slightly. 'They're gone. You can stop pretending now.'

She sat up slowly and looked around her. A fire blazed in the heart and James had the first two buttons of his shirt undone. Apart from that, Lily had no idea it was so warm in the room. She was freezing. In the harsh firelight, James looked at Lily. She had shrunk in on herself, her green determined, gentle and proud eyes sunken red rimmed with shadows beneath them. Her hair was tangled and wild as, with a heavy movement, she pushed it all off her face. Her face, alone, was almost transparent in its whiteness. James sucked his breath in through his teeth.

'You look terrible.'

'Thanks.' Lily's voice came out harsh, alien. She shivered and tightened the blanket around her shoulders, curling up in the corner of the couch. James watched her carefully.

'You don't have to do anything. They're organizing the fu- everything for you. And I'm not sure about guardians.'

'I don't need a guardian,' Lily said hoarsely, her voice still husky from sleep. 'I'm an adult. I'll look after myself. I don't need anyone…'

James stared at her. Still, she hadn't cried. He shook his head and lowered his head so her could look at her face.

'You don't mean that. You need us.'

Lily just shook her head. 'No one. Not even you. Please, go away.' Her voice was dead, her eyes devoid of any emotion. James shuddered slightly. It seemed like Lily's soul had been eaten away.

'Lily-.'

'Go away, James!'

The days following passed like a dream. Without Lily, the Marauders, Tess, Anthea and Hannah constantly erupted into fights and arguments over the silliest things. Lily went to the funeral alone, where she discovered that she was no longer welcome as Petunia's sister. Lily returned to Hogwarts and her face remained pale. Her grades dropped, her eyes lost their golden sparkle and the peace and laughter which she managed to instill in everyone who spoke to her vanished. Now, more than ever, everyone realized how much, when Lily walked into the room, she lit it up.

Lily simply became one of the ghosts. She was there, she would acknowledge if someone spoke to her. But she did not reply. She did not smile. She floated around the castle, clinging to the order, predictability and dependable cycle of life, like she was clinging to the edge of a cliff. Lily went through all the motions of living, without really living. Countless time people tried to talk to her, bring her out of her protective shell. Nothing worked.

Finally, one exceptionally cold night, they all settled down in the Gryffindor common room.

'This is ridiculous,' Sirius grunted. 'If Lily had been here, I wouldn't look like this!' He ran a hand through his electric blue hair. Madame Promfrey still hadn't discovered which spell had backfired to create such an affect. 'If Lily had been here, she would have stopped me from being stupid. I mean, I know!' He shot a look at Hannah, whose mouth snapped shut automatically. 'I know she's here but I meant if she was HERE. Her old self.' Sirius sighed. 'I miss Lily.'

A collective sigh swept throughout the room. Hannah stared into the fire. 'What we need,' she started out slowly. 'is to find something she absolutely loves, something that can bring her out of that little stone fort she's built around herself…' Hannah caught Sirius eye and shrugged. 'Just because I'm jumpy and laugh heaps, doesn't mean I'm dumb!'

Sirius just shrugged and ran his hand through his hair again, deciding not to press the subject because he knew what would be pointed out to prove his own stupidity.

Remus shrugged as he lay back in the sofa, Anthea sitting on the floor in front of him, her back against his legs. 'Well, what does Lily love? We know she's a tomboy, but she doesn't play Quidditch. We know she's very pretty, but she isn't interested in clothes and makeup as much as you other girls are. What brings out a strong emotion in her?'

James sat up suddenly, a smile slowly spreading across his face. 'I have an idea,' he said quietly. The others all leant forward eagerly as James explained his plan.


	13. A Fight Between Friends

**B**: _I've decided to dedicate this chapter to a few people… meh, it's my chapter, I can do what I like. It's a short one, though._

_For Jill, who read and reviewed all my chapters in one day, so that between signing off last night and signing back in this morning, about 6 hours later, I had over 12 emails waiting for me. Each filled with praise._

_For Bella Catherina, known to me as Cat, who, every day, spurs me on into writing another chapter by her constant begging for more. Thanks, lil one, for keeping my motivation pumping._

_And for all my reviewers in general, because I'm too lazy to reply to each and every review, I read every one and share them with Cat, and you have no idea how often they all make me laugh with the classy jokes you kids come up with._

_Thanks_

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'Come on, you pussy, what are you, a wimp?! Get up and fight!'

James struggled to his feet, his eyes blazing wildly. A trickle of blood ran down him arm. He waved his wand over his head, shouted a spell, and brought his wand down in an arch, shooting a bright beam of golden light… right at Sirius.

Sirius dodged nimbly away. 'Give me a break.'

'This isn't a dance, Black! Are you too scared to fight me?'

Sirius snorted his disgust then spat at the floor between James' feet. 'Time to teach you a lesson, Potter!'

He raised his wand high and Hannah shrieked in horror. Beside her, Anthea had buried her face in Remus shoulder, Tess was shaking madly, and her knuckles white as her fingers gripped the strap of her bag. Peter huddled in the background.

Lily rounded the corner and froze at the sight that met her. James and Sirius, both covered in cuts and bruises, both with torn clothes and everyone else watching on in terror. Her jaw dropped.

'Sirius, NO!'

She dropped her bag and darted in between them, the haunted, miserable look gone from her face.

'What is wrong with you, you're friends, remember? Look, you can sort this out, I know you can! Please, let's just talk about this?'

Sirius glared over Lily's head at James, who glowered back. 'There's nothing to talk about, he's scum,' he growled.

James darted forwards and Lily backed into him, halting him in his tracks. Sirius shot James a look as Lily looked down, keeping her balance and James' face changed, the acting halting for a moment as his hands gently held on to Lily's arms. He hitched his look of hatred back up and scowled over Lily's red head and compensated his lapse in concentration by tightening his hold on Lily's arms, forcing himself to tremble slightly.

'Come on,' Lily said, putting a calming hand on one of James'. 'Let's go to the common room and we can talk about this.'

Hannah sniffed and spoke up, her voice shuddering. 'They were fighting over Quidditch strategies. We needed you to calm them down but we guessed you needed time to yourself…'

Lily stared around her in shock. She missed her parents terribly, but she knew, had known for a few days, that she had to keep on with life. It was a fact of life, she loved her Mum and Dad and they were gone. She wouldn't forget them, she loved them and she knew they were watching over her. But they had always wanted her to live life to the full. She couldn't mope around in a daze for the rest of her life.

Lily nodded. 'I've had time enough. It's time things went back to as normal as they can be.'

Sirius looked at her carefully. 'What do you mean by that?'

She shrugged. 'For one, that hair needs changing back. Secondly, it means next time you guys get in a fight, I'll kick both your asses.'

James couldn't help but grin over Lily's head, as Sirius struggled to keep scowling.

Lily was back.


	14. Dates

**B:**_ Heya guys, sorry I haven't added to the story in such a while... truth is, I couldn't be stuffed. Here's the next installment, it sucks, I'm warning you. Woo, I had my first driving lesson today, yay! Ok, back to you, Story..._

* * *

Lily might have been back to speaking and, on some rare cases, smiling, but she would still lapse into quiet periods, where her eyes would go blank, as if a curtain had dropped over them, and her face would become haunted again. But after a few well spoken words from Sirius and witty comebacks from Tess, who put Sirius in his place, she would slowly become more animated. Lily had lost almost any interest in returning home after Hogwarts and, instead, had begun planning buying her own home immediately after her exams. Petunia had made it more than clear that Lily was no longer classed as part of Petunia's family and, Lily had to admit, it was a relief. Petunia had despised her since she found out Lily was a witch, and she wasn't.

Sitting curled up in front of the fire one night, one of those nights where the air couldn't seem to decide whether it wanted to be warm or cold, Lily zoned off again. Around her, James, Sirius and Tess were having a full on debate, much to the delight of Hannah, Remus, Anthea and Peter.

'You know,' Sirius said slowly. 'I think we shouldn't have a ball. It's too much hassle.'

'Why, because you have to go though the pain of finding a date?' Tess asked harmlessly.

'Exactly!' James chirped up. 'It's embarrassing, so many girls I've asked have slapped me…' He raised a hand and rubbed his cheek.

'Well,' Tess said matter-of-factly, 'that would be because all the girls you've asked you've been out with… and dumped.'

'You may have a point there.'

Tess grinned. 'I know I do.'

'What about me!?' Sirius asked.

Tess rolled her eyes. 'Sirius, almost every girl is praying you'd ask them, all you have to do is ask the first girl you came across.'

'What about you?'

She snorted and lazed back in her chair, tossing her head over her shoulder dismissively. 'Oh, uhuh, like any guy is desperate to go with me!'

Sirius groaned and shook his head. 'What I meant was, would you go with me?'

The silence stretched out as Tess stared in shock. Lily was torn back from her reverie and she smiled slowly at the look on Tess' face. Looking up, she caught the hint of a smile on James' face. Tess coughed and James and Lily looked back at her, waiting.

'Honestly, I didn't think you'd ask me.'

'I'm asking you now.'

'Hmm…'

Sirius tapped his foot and Lily noticed how his fingers rapped on the armrest of the sofa. She stopped herself just in time from cracking up laughing. He was so nervous! Laid back, relaxed Sirius was nervous! He had never ever been rejected from a girl, but then he had never tried to ask out a girl quite like Tess, who'd rip him to shreds with her wit. Lily turned to watch Tess, praying she'd give an answer soon and put Sirius out of his misery. But Lily hadn't been the only one to notice how nervous Sirius was. Tess had a bright blush on her cheeks and, from the mischievous glint in her eye, Lily knew she was drawing out the moment for as long as possible.

Just as Sirius opened his mouth, his impatience getting the better of him, Tess nodded. 'Alright then.'

She smiled at him, stood and walked past him, up the stairs to her dorm. Sirius relaxed back into the chair, a broad smile spreading across his face.

'See, Sirius?' Lily said, desperately trying not to laugh. 'It wasn't that hard.'

'Are you kidding? That was torture!' He held a hand to his forehead and pretended to topple backwards in a swooning fit.

Lily burst into laughter, ignoring the bright smiles that spread around the room. It was the first time she'd laughed in weeks.

Anthea was pacing, striding from one end of the room to the other. With a sigh, Lily repeated her argument again.

'Tea, it doesn't matter what you wear, Remus is nuts about you anyway. You could go to the ball in a fishing net and he'd love it.'

'Only because he could see right through it.'

Lily groaned and pushed herself upright. Anthea had stopped her pacing and was now standing meekly in front of Lily, as she sat, straight-backed, her legs tucked up beside her, on the bed. She looked just like a ballerina. Lily watched as Anthea gazed desperately at her friend.

'I don't think I'll go.'

'But you have to!'

'No I don't.'

'Come on, Tea! Hannah's going with Tony, that Hufflepuff guy that accidentally jinxed the toilet door on the third floor, Tess is going with Sirius, do you really think they are as paranoid as you?'

At that point the dorm door swung open and Tess and Hannah came marching in, faces stricken and mouths moving a hundred miles and hour.

'Lily, we've got a problem!' Hannah cried, throwing herself dramatically onto her bed and burying her face in her arms, blonde hair splayed out across the sheet cover. Lily stopped herself just in time from snorting in laughter. She could have told them that.

'What's up?'

'We don't want to go anymore.' Tess mumbled, sinking down on the edge of Lily's bed.

'See!' Anthea pointed excitedly, a bright smile spreading across her face. 'They don't want to go either! Yay, I'm not going!' The others stared in amazement as Anthea whooped. She was never really like this, hyperactive and loud, this was more like Tess. Lily squinted closely at the two of them. No, that was Anthea and that was Tess, they hadn't swapped.

'Why not?' Lily asked, exasperatedly.

'Because,' Hannah groaned, lifting her head and looking at Lily through a curtain of hair. 'We can't decide what to wear.'

Lily looked from Tess, who was biting her lip, to Hannah, who burrowed her head into her arms again, to Anthea, who looked away suddenly, and laughed.

'I'm going!' she said. 'And I haven't got a date! If those boys like how you look in your uniform, they're going to love how you look in your dress robes. Now we're going on Saturday or you three will break those poor boys' hearts.'

The three disheartened girls looked at each other and their face split into grins. Tess jabbed a finger at her twin. 'And you weren't going to come, what a wuss!'

'You can talk! You were terrified Sirius wouldn't like you! Sirius! Of all people!'

'And Remus? Give me a break!' Hannah cut in. Lily watched on as the three managed to work their way into hysterical giggles. She rolled her eyes. Sometimes these girls worried her.


	15. Choices

James groaned and rolled onto his stomache. Outside, the sun was half way past the horizon, turning the snow outside to gold, the clouds in the sky to rich shades of orange and pink, and the light glinting off the lake, The dorm room was bathed in a golden glow, but James saw none of this. Sirius, sitting opposite him on his own bed, rolled his eyes.  
  
'Just ask her!'  
  
James snorted. 'Yeah, sure, like she'd want to go with me. She thinks I'm a jerk, and she has good reason to. I mean, I wasn't the greatest person in the world two years ago, to her.'  
  
'No, to her you were the worst.'  
  
'Appreciate it, mate,' James said sarcastically, shooting a glowering look over his shoulder at his best friend. 'It's easy for you, you have girls falling all over you.'  
  
'Not Tess.'  
  
'That's not the point. You have Tess, Moony has Anthea, Peter... well, who knows about him, but I'll go alone if I can't find a girl in three days! But the one I want to go with hates my guts!'  
  
'Yep,' Sirius yawned, stretching lazily, 'you definitely have dilemma here.'  
  
'You're supposed to help me.'  
  
'Alright, try Polyjuice potion, change into a hunk for the night.'  
  
'Thank you...' James said dryly.   
  
Sirius shrugged. 'Ask her. Or, if you find that too hard, Isabel hasn't got a date.'  
  
James looked at him and sighed.   
  
Hannah sidled into the common room and, spotting a shock of red hair at the other side of the room, winced, then made her way over.  
  
'Hey Lils,' she said, quietly. Lily looked up sharply at her friend and frowned.   
  
'What's wrong?'  
  
'Who said anything's wrong?'  
  
'No one. You're quiet.'  
  
'Oh...' Hannah sat herself slowly down beside Lily and glanced across at her friend. Lily had been sitting, studying the gigantic book in her lap, parchment and notes strewn around her with her quill flicking between her fingers and an inkpot sitting on a pile of crumpled parchment. 'Umm, did you know James has a date to the ball?'  
  
Lily, who had bent her head to study the book on her lap, blinked. As selfish as it sounded, she had assumed James would ask her. She deliberately turned the page, although her eyes were focused somewhere beyond the book. 'Who with?' she asked, offhandedly.  
  
'Isabel Martin.'  
  
'Ah. She's pretty.'  
  
'She's ditzy. You should have heard her when he asked her.'  
  
'You saw it?' Lily cursed herself silently, but the words had already slipped out. It wasn't as if she really cared, it was just that she had depended on James to ask her. And everyone had told her he would definitely ask her, no one else.  
  
Hannah stared at Lily sideways then sighed. 'He just walked up and asked her, then she hugged him and squealed a lot. James looked a bit disappointed.'  
  
'Can't think why.'  
  
Hannah only just stopped herself replying, but sighed again. 'Are you going with anyone, Lils?'   
  
'No,' she said defiantly. I'm going alone; I don't need a date, unlike James Potter!'  
  
Lily's eyes flashed angrily as she pulled her hair over one shoulder, twisting it into a rope. She knew she was being unreasonable, but James had made her feel like he liked her for so long, she had taken it for granted. Now that she was proved wrong, she was hurt and disappointed. Although, it wasn't like she had intended to do anything about it.  
  
'Hmm...' Hannah leant back in the chair, deciding it was time to let the subject of James go. 'So have you decided what you want to wear to the ball?'  
  
Lily chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. 'I don't really know... red maybe? With my hair up...'  
  
'No!' Hannah sat bolt upright. 'That's it. You're not to make any choices at all, regarding how you will look, we'll do it all for you.'  
  
'What, you, Tess and Tea?'  
  
'Yep!'  
  
'No way!'  
  
'Yes way!'  
  
Lily groaned. 'Do I have any choice?'  
  
Hannah just grinned and shook her head, her hair whipping over her shoulders in a golden cloud.  
  
'Fine,' Lily said, reluctantly. 


	16. A Change of Plan

'What about this one?' Hannah pulled out a bundle of blue, floaty material and shook it out. Tess and Tea frowned identically, then shook their heads.  
  
'She has red hair and green eyes, typical Irish. Wait, what's that?' Anthea pointed to the bottom on the chest Hannah had been digging in. Reaching in, Hannah pulled out a crumpled pile of material and flung it out onto the bed. All three girls gasped and Tess reached out reluctantly to touch the dress robes. 'No way...'  
  
Hannah shook her head. 'Wow... just... wow. Alright, so this is what she's going to wear-.'  
  
There was a knock at the door and Hannah scooped up the cloth, throwing it into the chest and slamming the lid, just as Lily walked in, dressed in her pyjamas. She glanced around at them and her eyes narrowed.  
  
'What are you all up to?'  
  
'We're designing your outfit for tomorrow night.'  
  
'I told you, Hannah., I don't need any help! I'm not going...'  
  
The three girls gasped and the dorm echoed with a chorus of 'but you have to!'  
  
'No, I do not!' Lily said, reprimanding. 'I've already made my mind up. Now, it's late, and I want to go to bed. Are you going to stand there gaping at me, or can I get some sleep tonight. Besides, you all have a busy day tomorrow.'  
  
And, without a backward glance, she jumped into bed and pulled the curtain shut, leaving Tess, Anthea and Hannah to stare at each other in shock.

* * *

Tess sighed and tugged at the hem of her dress robes, straightening them then staring at herself in the mirror. Outside the sun had just set and the sky was still awash with the effect of dusk. She smiled, letting her sentimental side get the better of her for a moment. It looked as if someone had painted the sky with water colours. Below her, in the school grounds, little lights flickered through the trees and the lake glittered as the sky darkened to a deep blue.  
  
She turned and looked in the mirror. She barely recognized herself. The long robes brushed her toes in her high heeled shoes and her hair was pulled up, strands curling down on either side of her face. Quite the opposite for the usual tomboy effect, she had to admit, she looked more like a woman than ever.  
  
Tess turned as someone tapped lightly on the door. Lily opened the door dressed in her normal school robes, followed closely by Hannah. Hannah stared at Tess as Tess stared back. The slight blonde girl was wearing a deep blue dress, her golden hair half up, the loose half straight and the tied up half in long ringlets. She smiled brightly at the sight of Tess.  
  
'Oh, Tess, Sirius is going to faint!'  
  
But Tess wasn't listening. She was watching Lily carefully, who was looking anywhere but at her friends, her eyes the only sign of her disappointment.  
  
'Hey Hannah...' she said slowly. 'Can you go down and tell Sirius I'll meet up with him soon. I've got something to do first. Tell him I won't be long.'  
  
She shot Hannah a look and smiled as Hannah grinned and whirled from the room.  
  
James groaned. Isabel was hanging on his arm, but she made no effort to hide the fact that she was flirting with almost every male in the room. She did look very pretty, but James was already bored by her. Finally, much to his relief, she broke away and went to flirt with a group of guys, standing in a corner. James turned to Sirius, who seemed to be on tender hooks.   
  
'Waiting for Tess?'  
  
'What's taking her so long?' Sirius said angrily. James just grinned, he could always tell when Sirius was nervous. Hannah sidled up to them, her date smiling and heading off to their table. She just grinned at the sight of James and Sirius, literally jumping out of their skins in anticipation.  
  
'Be patient!' she said, laughing. 'They'll be here soon.'  
  
'They?' James asked. She couldn't possibly mean Lily, Anthea had told James that Lily had decided not to come. Glancing over his shoulder, he spotted Remus and Anthea sitting talking. He couldn't help smiling; both had stars in their eyes. Anthea, he had to admit, looked extremely pretty, dressed in purple, a golden necklace around her throat. Hannah gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Sirius and James both stared at her. 'What?' they asked.  
  
Hannah just pointed over their shoulders and the boys turned in unison, their jaws dropping in surprise.


	17. Eye Openers

**B: **_Eep, I had to replace this chapter cos I was only just informed I messed up... I got the characters confused. Der, I feel dumb. And I know I've left out Remus and Peter a bit, but they'll be in more, I promise. The idea was to get Remus and Anthea together, so everyone hardly notices it, like what would have happened. everyone is so wrapped up in bigger problems, the others just fade into the woodwork. Thanks, Aly, for pointing that out, you saved my backside!_

_Cat... stop whining, here's the new chapter. Although, I doubt you'll be pleased with the ending. Don't send me mean text messages or emails! Ha, enjoy hun, I should get Tom to read this! Not._

* * *

'Dude...' James only just registered hearing Sirius behind him. 'Am I dreaming?'  
  
James' breath exploded; he hadn't realized he'd been holding it. 'Seriously, I hope not, mate... I have never seen anything like...'  
  
'Her?' Hannah finished off.  
  
Tess was standing in the doorway, with someone half hidden behind her. Tess smiled and winked at Hannah, then stepped aside. Lily was standing behind, her head lowered shyly. Both girls, tomboys, usually never seen in dresses, looked stunning. Tess was looking, according to Sirius, drop dead gorgeous and sexy, dressed in red, the dress showing off all her previously hidden curves. But James wasn't staring at Tess. He was more interested in Lily, standing half hidden, then slowly stepping into the light.  
  
She was wearing an emerald green dress, with silver embroidery over the bust and silver threads weaving in and out of the skirt, making it glint and sparkle in the light. Her usually wild hair, left tangling down her back, was wound up behind her head, tiny ringlets framing her face.  
  
Hannah grinned as James gripped her arm and coughed. 'Well, James, how does she look?'  
  
James forgot about his mask, his brick wall of self preservation. 'Beautiful... stunning... amazing... gorgeous... incredible... I can't explain it, she's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen...'  
  
Hannah smiled brightly as Tony came back across the room and slipped her arm in his, and Tess and Lily both walked towards the small group. James couldn't look away from Lily, but she completely ignored him.  
  
'Tess,' Sirius breathed. 'You look wonderful.'  
  
'You don't look too bad yourself, Padfoot.' Tess smiled at him as he slipped him arm around her waist. Her eyes flew wide open as he leant forwards and kissed her gently on the cheek. Lily blinked. Sirius was never a gentleman...  
  
James tore his eyes away as Lily glanced at him. She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by a whirl of pink robes and high pitched giggles.  
  
'Jamsie!' Isabel was back and Tess groaned audibly. Isabel shot Tess a look of pure loathing then stood on tiptoe to kiss James on the lips. 'Come and have some fun! Please?' she whined, batting her eyelashes. Lily raised an eyebrow and she caught James' eye for a moment before he was whisked off by the most irritating girl in the room. Sirius shot a sympathetic glance at James.  
  
'Come on,' Sirius said, giving Tess a gentle squeeze, let's dance.'  
  
Lily moved off the floor as all the couples began to dance. Instead, she sat alone at her table, gently declining all the offers of a dance. Once or twice she saw James head her way but she either got up, moving away, or he was intercepted by a squealing Isabel, who, each time, glance maliciously at Lily over her shoulder. Eventually Lily became bored and slipped out of the doors, walking slowly down to the lake.  
  
'Lily! Hey, wait up!'  
  
She turned, feeling her skirts swirl around her, and stood still, the light breeze wrapping the light material around her legs. James caught up and smiled breathlessly.  
  
'Hi.'  
  
'Hi,' she answered, feeling strangely self conscious. Lily glanced down at her feet and James looked away uncomfortably.  
  
'Mind if I join you?' he asked politely.  
  
'Not at all.'  
  
They slowly headed off down to the lake and James led Lily over to a low branch. They sat down in silence, Lily kicking her feet slightly, her feet only just reaching the ground from her perch on the branch. James rubbed the back of his neck.  
  
'Why did you leave?'  
  
'I got bored.'  
  
'I was going to ask you to dance,' he said quietly.  
  
'I know,' Lily whispered. With each sentence, they became quieter.  
  
'Why did you leave, then?'  
  
'Because I want to be mad at you.'  
  
James stared at her, his body twisted so that he could look at her properly. Her red hair glinted in the moonlight and her dress glittering silver. With every small kick her dress fluttered and the silver thread glimmered. 'Why?'  
  
'You asked Isabel instead of me.'  
  
He could have laughed. But he stopped himself, knowing she'd take it the wrong way and become offended. Instead he just smiled. 'I wanted to ask you, but I knew... thought you'd say no. I didn't have the guts.'  
  
'But you could have tried!' She looked at him properly and he saw with a shock that tears hovered in her eyes. He couldn't think what to say. So he leant forward and kissed her gently on the lips.


	18. The Kiss

**B:**_ Ahah, another load of emails over one night! God, I love bulk posting... Jill, honestly, you have me in tears of laughter at some of your reviews. Namely... lemme see searches Driving lessons! I hate turning into oncoming traffic too, that's left, here, Down Under. My dad took my out the first time ever and drove me around a carpark too. Then he said 'ok, lets go this way.'  
  
'Onto the road!?'  
  
'Yep!'  
  
And this road I turn into has a curve... I can't see what's coming at me and it's my FIRST TIME behind the wheel. I was trembling in my little boots. Evil father. But my mother refuses to let anyone else in the car with me. Great vote of confidence. Hey, at least I didn't run over a letter box like my brothers ex-girlfriend... a brick letterbox.._

* * *

Lily closed her eyes and pulled away suddenly, a ringlet brushing her cheek. James had kissed her... She couldn't think what to do, should she kiss him back, should she get up and leave, after all, he did have a date. Should she hug him... what?!  
  
Before she could decide she heard a rustle and opened to eyes to find James standing a few feet away, hands jammed in his pockets, face drawn as he stared out over the lake. The fairy lights darted around them as music from the Great Hall drifted down over the grounds. Lily got to her feet and walked over to James, putting her hand on his arm. To her horror, he flinched away from her.  
  
'What've I done?' she asked, miserably.  
  
'Nothing,' James replied, hoarsely. 'That's just it. You don't like me any more than a good friend, and I just made a complete dickhead of myself, didn't I?'  
  
'No, that's-!'  
  
'Lily!'  
  
Both looked up in surprise. Lily's heart sank as she recognized who was marching across the grounds towards him.  
  
'Is he bothering you?'  
  
'No, Todd.' Lily sighed. Of all people, Todd was definitely not who she wanted to see. But one look at Todd's face told her that he was beyond chivalry. He was bordering on insanity. Before she could shout a warning, Todd had moved between her and James and had his wand pointing at James' chest.  
  
'You stay away from her, understand? She's mine!' Todd's eyes flashed dangerously as James glared back.  
  
'No!' Lily cried, grabbing Todd's shoulder to pull him away. 'I'm not yours! I'm not anyone's! Please-!'  
  
But Todd waved his wand and slashed it sideways. To Lily's horror, the material of the sleeve of James' dress robes tore and blood splashed down his arm. She reached over, grabbed Todd's arm as a couple of shouts echoed across the ground and Todd's fist swung back, smacking Lily on the cheek bone.  
  
She fell to the ground, stars winking in front of her eyes and shouts resonated around her, lights flashing beyond her eye lids. The sounds faded away, leaving people muttering quietly amongst themselves and Lily felt her head being lifted slightly. Opening her eyes, she saw Professor McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus, Hannah, Anthea, Tess, Peter and James all standing around. Todd was lying nearby, unconscious; Sirius had his head resting against the trunk of a nearby tree with Tess standing with him, her hand on his back, murmuring reassuring words, Anthea was muttering quietly to Remus, who was still twirling his wand between his fingers. James was helping Lily to sit up.  
  
Professor Dumbledore looked down at her, blue eyes twinkling in the moonlight. 'Well, Miss Evans, you certainly need to get fixed up. That young man won't be around anymore...'  
  
'It was an accident...' Lily started, having no idea why she was defending him.  
  
'Accident, my ass,' James spat, cushioning Lily's head against his shoulder, blood trickling down his other arm. 'He hurt you...'  
  
'But I grabbed his arm...'  
  
'I don't care, he hurt you!'  
  
Lily looked up at him and realized that he was shaking madly, his teeth chattering. 'I won't lose you...' he whispered. Lily smiled slightly, and the Headmaster cleared his throat.  
  
'Hospital Wing?' he hinted, not so subtly. Remus darted forwards and helped James get Lily to her feet. She looked at the pale young man beside her. 'You jinxed him, didn't you?'  
  
Remus gave a grim smile and slid his arm around her back, supporting her. 'I had to do something. I saw him curse James and you grabbed his arm... it was unlucky you were too close, you copped a massive blow, right on your cheekbone. Tea and I were walking nearby and heard a few shouts, saw what was happening, came running and I kind of pounced on him. He had disarmed me, but I belted him and knocked him to the ground, enough for Sirius to get there, jam his wand in between us and knock that Toad out.' He glanced over his shoulder at Sirius and Tess, walking quietly behind. 'I think he blames himself. None of us ever dreamed you'd get hurt like this, Lils.'  
  
Anthea nodded, walking alongside them. 'That guy should be put in Azkaban, he's crazy.'  
  
'What, Sirius or Toad?' Remus asked, the trace of a smile on his face.  
  
'Both.'  
  
Peter caught up, trotting to keep up. 'Where were you, when the fight was going on, Peter?' Anthea asked, casually. Lily had no doubt in her mind where he had been, but he looked around and squeaked 'I only got there in time to see Sirius knock him unconscious.'  
  
Lily glanced at Peter as she pulled away from Remus, muttering she could manage herself, although James refused to pull away. Peter was a strange boy, always hiding from fights and being basically a cling on. Most of the time, he was hardly noticed. He was so different to the others.  
  
'Here we are...'  
  
Professor Dumbledore opened the door to the Hospital Wing and he and Professor McGonagall explained to Monsieur De Laguire what had happened. The school healer nodded and made shocked sounds in all the right places. Once he had seen the Professors out, he turned to the motley bunch awaiting orders.  
  
'Alright, each to a bed... one bed PER PERSON, Monsieur Black!' he added, as, with a mischievous wink, Sirius followed Tess to her bed. She giggled and pushed him away, but at least, Lily thought, he wasn't quite so shocked anymore. They all got changed into pyjamas, as Remus and Sirius bean to crack jokes about pyjama parties and would there be ghost stories? She levered herself, with a great deal of help from James, into her bed. James tenderly brushed a strand of hair from her eyes then turned, jumping into his own bed next to hers. Monsieur De Laguire headed towards Lily's bed and bent over her, dripping a potion onto her cheekbone. Immediately, she felt the pain begin to fade away.  
  
'That is indeed quite a hit, Mademoiselle!'  
  
Lily grinned at his good humour then settled beneath the sheets, lying on her side facing James. She smiled at him and watched his face relax. They would have to talk... but later. She closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep. 


	19. Hospital Wing

**B: **_Oh, I think I'm in love with this chapter. I tried to dull the romance down with as much teenage humour as possible, but I'm afraid there's still some here. So caution, to all those who cannot stand romance, this chapter breeds the stuff._

* * *

Lily opened her eyes and looked around her. The Hospital Wing was huge and a weak light was filtering in through the window, lighting up streams of dust. Sitting up, she ran a hand through her now loose hair which must've tumbled out of its style during the night. Pulling a handful over her shoulder, she smiled as she realized the curls were still in. She raised her head and slowly appraised the room, letting her hair curl around her fingers.  
  
Sirius was sprawled out on his bed, mouth open, his dress robes flung over the end of his bed. Tess, in the bed beside him, was stretched out on her stomache, sheets twisted from a night of tossing and turning. Remus was lying on his side, looking exactly like he had just hopping into bed and Peter, just beyond him, was curled into a tight ball, sheets pulled all the way up to his chin.  
  
Anthea, lying next to Lily, had her head resting on her arm, straight brown hair falling across her face and Hannah was sound asleep, her head half buried beneath the pillow.  
  
Lily grinned. Her friends were so different even in sleep, but it said something about them. She looped her arms over her knees, her back straight and flicked her hair over her shoulder. Her cheek didn't hurt anymore and even if it had... James had kissed her!  
  
'Good morning.'  
  
She looked to her right. James was wide awake, head propped up by elbow and hand. Lily smiled slightly.  
  
'How long have you been awake?' she asked, her voice coming out husky from sleep.  
  
'A while.'  
  
'How long have you been watching me?'  
  
'Since you woke up.'  
  
'Stalker.'  
  
'Oh, that hurt.' He grinned amiably. 'Just because I've been bowled over by you, doesn't mean you have to tease me about it! Besides, you should have seen what you looked like, your eyes all wide and your hair wild down your back like that. Any male would have been knocked off his feet.'  
  
'Hmm, but against Isabel Martin I don't compare.'  
  
James sighed and sat up, draping one arm over his knee lazily. 'I don't know how to explain it.'  
  
'You asked her because you were worried I was going to turn you down?'  
  
'Terrified, is more the word.'  
  
'What's changed?'  
  
'Last night.'  
  
'Ah.'  
  
Lily tightened her hold around her knees, trying to stop her heart thumping madly by squeezing herself. She could feel her hands trembling. Honestly, she was never one for romance, she preferred common sense, but James... well, he swept her off her feet.  
  
'And what do you mean by last night, James Potter?'  
  
She scuttled back as he slid out of his bed and jumped onto hers with a grin, sitting just a few inches in front of her.  
  
'Well, I'd better say it now or my nerve will fail me. You looked absolutely positively incredibly exquisitely-.'  
  
'Do you want to get to the point?'  
  
'I'm getting there. You looked beautiful. I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life and it wasn't just your hair and your dress. If anything, it was your eyes and your smile and... yeah, anyway, that's not the point. The point is I kissed you and, whether you realize it or not, you kissed me back.'  
  
'I did?! No I didn't!'  
  
'Yes, oh yes you did!' he whispered, pointing an accusing finger at her, grinning manically. 'You did!'  
  
'I don't remember it like that, I remember you kissing me and me being so in shock-.'  
  
'You kissed me back!' James finished triumphantly.  
  
'It doesn't count!'  
  
'Yes it does!' Hannah called from the other bed. Lily looked around. The others had seemed to be woken by the debate and each had a mischievous grin on their faces. 'So kiss him again, because we missed it!'  
  
'What- no!'  
  
'What are you, chicken?' Tess clucked from her bed and Sirius looked at her sideways.  
  
'Stop it, I'm hungry...' he moaned and Tess snorted in laughter.  
  
'No, I am not scared!'  
  
'Yes you are.' James taunted quietly, leaning forwards.  
  
'Not...' Lily tried weakly to defend herself then groaned in frustration, reached over, grabbed the back of James neck, pulled him forwards and kissed him hard on the lips.  
  
The room erupted into cheers and Tess could be heard yelling 'about bloody time, too!' in the background. Lily and James pulled away reluctantly and James smiled. 'You did,' he whispered. 'Go out with me... please? I wanted to ask you last night but...'  
  
Lily just kissed him again and nodded, then both looked around in shock.  
  
'Tess, really, you don't need to thank any sort of God.'  
  
Tess ignored them and continued kneel, giving her silent prayer of thanks to the ceiling.


	20. Wasting time

**B:** _I've made boo boos. But hey, I don't care. It's just a fanfic, doesn't have to make sense. _

_New plug: Bethies-Bro, he's in my favourites. You'll recognise him if you read my other story about all of us... moving right along. Just read the Goddam story. Yeah, anyway... ignores people skipping through the authors note, planning on just getting to the chapter, and keeps writing to take up more space so this chapter seems longer and suddenly stops typing as fingers cramp up and if I was saying this aloud I'd need a ventilator by now... my hands hurt._

_Erm... I had a speech prepared but I can't remember what it was so I'm just going to waste your time. I know it said something about this chapter being short and if there're any mistakes within my writing tell me, cos I make heaps. Woot, yay, I'm eighteen now! _

_Jigs_

* * *

As was predictable, the school seethed with rumour the week following the ball, although, in the Marauders case, all were true in their most basic form. Each time someone told the story to a friend, the story became more elaborate, until James had, according to the school, changed into an eagle and swooped down on Todd.

The Marauders, Lily, Tess, Anthea and Hannah listened and laughed. Most people didn't believe it happened, but the lack of toads around the school had people thinking. Tess made this clear a few days after the ball. Draped over the couch, she groaned and rubbed her face with her palms.

'You know, people have been asking me what really happened to Toad. I really feel like telling them I squished him.'

'Gross, Tess.' Hannah was sitting at a nearby table, scribbling away at a length of parchment.

'Have you ever stood on a toad? They make the funniest noise when you squash them.'

'Tess. Need I repeat myself?'

'No, but you usually do anyway.'

Tess ducked as a pillow flew over her head... and collided with Sirius face.

'Hey! Who's trying to decapitate me?'

Tess sniggered. 'Yeah, you could be decapitated with a pillow because your head isn't heavy. No brains.'

'Shut up, you,' Sirius reprimanded, sitting on her. 'Oh, hello Lily!'

Lily grinned from her seat on the floor. He hadn't immediately seen her, although she wasn't too surprised. Sitting down behind the table, only the top of her head was visible. Then again, she thought, that should make her noticeable. She shrugged and went back to her book, just as it was whipped out from under her nose.

James plonked himself down beside her and tipped the book one way, then the next, watching the pages turn by themselves by gravity, one by one.

'Boring,' he declared, throwing the book over his shoulder.

Remus laughed as he strode into the room. 'Oh, and you aren't? You think Lily's going to give up valuable studying time for you?'

'Yes.'

'Sure.'

'Because I'm her most favourite person in the world and she always has time for me.'

Remus barked out a laugh. To Lily, he looked exhausted again, but the smile on his face soon pushed that thought away. He was sitting, now, in a nearby chair, Anthea tucked into his shoulder. Lily hadn't realized how fast it took them to get together, while, in her case, it took seven years. Peter had sidled into the room at one point. He gave Lily the creeps, sometimes, he was such a tagalong.

Lily just nodded. 'Yes, James, and you've ruled my life thus far, I suppose you will continue to.'

'Oh, that cut deep.'

Sirius winked. 'I know what'll cut deeper... Lily, would you like to here James' most embarrassing experience?'

James launched himself at Sirius at a desperate attempt to shut him up. Remus groaned and poked both of them with the toe of his shoe. 'Children,' he scoffed and Anthea just smiled slightly at Lily. Lily couldn't remember seeing her so happy. Her dark eyes glinted beneath her fall of long straight brown hair. She had been laughing more often, even if she was still so quiet.

Peter sat himself in a chair nearby, snorting with laughter at James and Sirius wrestling as Sirius tried in vain to spit out the story of James in the middle of one of his parents' dinner parties. Tess was giggling madly and Hannah, had given up on her homework and was amusing herself by tearing off tiny pieces of parchment, bunching it into tiny balls and throwing them at random people, was grinning to herself.

To Lily, everything seemed almost perfect, if only she still had her parents. But then, she told herself, every time this feeling settled over her, something just had to go terribly wrong.


	21. The Prank

**B:**_ -Stares into space-_

_Is this boring anyone but me? _

_-Blinks-_

_Hey, wait, actually, this one isn't too bad, yay, enough of the boring chapters, ACTION! Well, the start of it. I'm bored of writing now, I'm off to waste time. _

_Oh, and visit this site: (free plug... hey, I get paid in friends, ok? Besides, no one ever goes on this site anymore and that makes it SUCK.) Go there. Now. No, not after the chapter, now! Ok, after the chapter. Read on._

* * *

It had been almost a month since the school ball and the school had finally settled into its old routine, the rumours and fights over and the secret of Todd's expulsion dampened down, almost forgotten altogether. That didn't mean Lily's friends were any calmer and more grown up, though. 

'Woo, look out!'

Lily scurried away from the foot of the stairs to the dorm as Tess came shooting down, voice jolting as she rode down the steps on the shield from a suit of armour Sirius had nicked and placed in the middle of the common room. While Lily had been quietly reading in the library, her friends had been taking turns tobogganing down the steps on the shield. Lily laughed and dumped her armful of books on a sofa, James sneaking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. Both erupted into spasms of laughter as Theressa sped across the room and collided with a wall, ending up in a tangle of arms and legs.

'Did you see that?!' she shrieked, peeking out from under her own leg at Lily, her face split into an evil grin. 'That was so awesome!'

Lily just shook her head, laughing too hard to reply.

'My turn, my turn, my turn..! Sirius leapt down the stairs four at a time, stumbling as he reached the bottom step and, unable to regain his balance, staggered forwards and landed on top of Tess.

'Geroff me!' Tess grumbled, poking Sirius in the side.

'Oh, do it again...' Sirius mumbled huskily. Tess pretended to gag and pushed him off her.

'Ow, my BUTT!'

'Baby.'

Sirius just grinned Lily and James shook their heads as Anthea and Peter came more sedately down the steps. Lily frowned, looking around, then asked James over her shoulder.

'Where's Remus?'

James just shrugged and looked away. 'His mother is sick, he had to go visit her.'

'He does that so often, at least once a month.'

'Hmm.'

Lily glanced sharply over her shoulder at him, her eyes narrowed shrewdly, but James had already started talking to Sirius. She had started watching the boys carefully and, every time the subject of Remus' mother came up, she looked even closer. There was a secret here, and she was going to work it out.

* * *

Later that evening, just after dinner, Lily headed back to the common room alone, after convincing the others that she wanted some peace and quiet. Remus had disappeared. Scuffing her feet silently on the cold floor, she headed towards the huge sweeping staircase, but froze, still hidden in shadow, at the sound of two voices. Lily blinked in surprise. 

'I know there's something up with that scrawny little Head Boy, Black. You tell me now, or I'll start something you don't want started. So are you going to tell me now, or what?'

Lily heard an exasperated sigh and Sirius piped up. Even from just the sound of his voice, she could tell her was suppressing an evil grin. 'Fine, you've been bugging me long enough. You know the Whomping Willow? There's a knot on the trunk, poke it with a stick and you can get past the branches and into a hole in the roots. You'll find what you're looking for down there.'

Lily watched as Severus Snape sneered in Sirius face and swept down the stairs, wrapping his cloak around himself. Behind him, Sirius let out a quiet snigger.

'Fool.'

'Hey, Padfoot, what are you doing?' James said, jumping down four steps at a time, catching u to Sirius and they both reached the foot of the steps together.

'Getting back at Snape for being a filthy, slimy, oily toerag. He's gone to the Shrieking Shack.'

James breathed sharply in through his teeth. 'Are you nuts?' he hissed. 'Moony will kill him, it's full moon!'

Lily pressed her back against the cold stone wall, her eyes widening in shock. She looked up at the silvery orb of the moon shining in a stream of glittering light through the window near her and dusting James and Sirius where the golden light from the lamps nearby didn't reach. The thoughts were racing through her mind were horrifying. Suddenly, it all made terrible sense. The times Remus disappeared... once a month... DURING FULL MOON! He always looked so exhausted... oh no... Lily breathed the words silently. No... not Remus.

Suddenly she was wrenched back to her senses as James grasped Sirius' shoulders.

'How long ago did he go?'

'Just then. You aren't seriously going after him, are you?'

'You want to be responsible for someone's death?!'

'It's Snivellus!'

'I don't care!' James was shouting now as he shook his best mate by the shoulders. 'Stay here, you idiot!'

Lily leant out from her hiding place in time to see James slowly begin to change, his shoulders becoming broader, face longer, he dropped to his hands and knees...

She covered her mouth to stop herself crying out loud. An incredible stag pawed the ground before Sirius, tossed its head angrily then, before she could get a better look, took off out of the front doors, headless of anyone watching, speeding off across the grounds.


	22. Rescue

**B: **_Ok, website didn't work... grr... ok, let's try this again. _

_rpmachine. proboards17. com_

_Ok! On with the story..._

* * *

Not a sliver of moonlight touched the silent figure, as she stood, leaning back against the wall, feeling each second tick by. She hadn't moved for at least and hour, her feet numb, her eyes locked on the back of the Fat Lady's Portrait, waiting. Every minute felt like an hour, but, ignoring her distorted estimation of time, Lily supposed it was around two o'clock in the morning. 

A waft of icy air drifted in from a nearby window and Lily shuddered, moving for the first time in ages. Suddenly, the portrait swung open and two shadows stumbled inside, one whispering furiously to the other, who glared at the floor.

'What is wrong with you?' James' voice hissed from the first figure. Lily watched as the silhouette of her boyfriend whipped around to stand face to face with the second person. 'Do you realize what you've done? Now everyone will know Moony is a werewolf! He'll get kicked out, he'll never get a job, he'll never be allowed... anywhere! Don't you remember how he tried to keep it secret from us because he thought we'd hate him? Well, we would have if we'd been told he was a werewolf BEFORE we knew him! And now Snape knows, we're lucky Dumbledore was there to speak to Snivellus, but I don't even know if he'll keep his mouth shut!'

Sirius threw himself into a sofa, letting his breath hiss out between his teeth. 'Lily knows.'

'What?' James turned slowly, the moonlight showing shock and fury on his face. Lily backed silently into the darkness; she'd never see him so angry. 'What did you say?' His voice was dangerously quiet.

'She must've hung back in the hall or something. She was there, I don't know for how long-.'

His head whipped around as Lily stumbled on a book left on the floor and let out a squeak of alarm.

'Lumos!' James whisked out his wand. Lily threw her arms up in front of her eyes, the sudden light blinding her, and took another step back, her foot catching again on the book and she toppled backwards.

'Ah!' she cried, as she struck her head on the stone wall. James dropped his wand and leapt forwards, gently lifting Lily's head up and pulling his hand away from her forehead, wet with blood.

He swore. 'You're bleeding...'

Lily groaned and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. 'It's not bad.' She levered herself to her feet, holding the heel of her palm hard against the cut, and James muttered and swore beside her.

'Enough, James!' Lily scolded, her green eyes flashing in the light of the wand and moon. 'There's no need to swear, I'm not going to tell anyone! Or do you have so little faith in me?'

It was a trick question. If he said yes, she'd get mad because he didn't trust her. If he said no, she'd get mad because he was taking his anger out on her. So James stayed intelligent and kept his mouth shut until he had worked out the answer.

'Look, Lil, I do trust you, I'm just worried you weren't the only one there and I guess I'm just taking this out on you a bit.'

'I was the only one there, if you'd care to ask. It's Snape you need to worry about.'

He'd still lost, but Lily had decided to let his pass. She had to force herself not to laugh. Those stupid trick questions girls asked to give themselves and excuse to yell at their boyfriends irritated her, but she couldn't help herself this time. Besides, she thought to herself, just once every now and then to keep him in line couldn't hurt...

'James, Sirius, I've been standing here, waiting and worrying over you two for hours. I think I have the right of knowing exactly what went on and you-!' she punched her finger in Sirius' direction. 'You should get yourself prepared because you've got one hell of a lecture coming up!'

Her bright hair tumbled over her shoulder and her eyes blazed furiously. Sirius shrunk in his chair. It wasn't often Lily yelled, only when they really deserved it, and Lily had only once before yelled at him like this.

James groaned quietly and made sure Lily was sitting down, dodging her frustrated slap, scowled and moved to stand by the cold fireplace. 'Fine. I changed back to human form and got in the tunnel, spotted Snivellus halfway down, called out for him and ran forwards, grabbed his arm and dragged him back. He saw enough of Remus but got away. Only just. No thanks to Padfoot!'

James glared at Sirius, but Lily just sighed. 'Well,' she said, brushing her hair back over her shoulder. 'There's nothing we can do about it now, so I suggest we all go to bed and try our best to recover from this.'

The two boys looked at each other and James tried to stifle a grin. 'You sound like a shrink, Lil.'

'Yeah, well someone has to keep you lot in line and seeing as no one else will, it's been left up to me.'

James yawned and stretched. 'I guess we should just go to bed. Dumbledore will sort this all out for us.'

'Spoken like a true child...' Lily muttered. James glared at her and leapt to his feet, storming out of the common room.

'Well. Certainly stirred him up, didn't you?' Sirius grinned. Lily didn't look up but swore at him explosively, wiping the smile from his face. Lily didn't swear. She kept her eyes lowered as Sirius headed past her, up to his dorm.


	23. The Death Eaters

**B:**_ Hey, guys, sorry I have posted in so long. Kind of a mix between can't be stuffed/writers block/too busy. But this is a looooooong one. Enjoy!_

* * *

Severus Snape had been sworn to secrecy over Remus' hidden ailment, although Lily, James and Sirius didn't discuss it, other than to tell Remus what had happened. Lily and James pretended nothing had happened, much to James' relief. Remus returned, looking exhausted and jumpy and kept casting sideways, guilty and shameful glances at Lily. James must've told him that she knew, Lily assumed. Each time he looked at her like that, Lily would smile reassuringly, hoping that he realized she didn't think any less of him. 

Anthea had been acting strange for a while and, when the next Hogsmeade weekend was organized, Lily felt the twin twitch oddly beside her. She glanced sideways, but Tea had her eyes locked on her interlinked hands in her lap. Her straight hair fall in strands forwards, covering her face. Lily bit back the words on her tongue. She had known Anthea for years and had learnt ages ago that talking wouldn't help. Anthea locked all her secrets away.

A dark cloud swept over the sun as the group of Hogwarts students made their way through the gates of the school and down the street towards the little village. Lily looked up and frowned. There was a weird feeling in the pit of her stomache and her entire body shook with a slight tremor. James felt it, his arm around her, and glanced at her, but she just smiled up at him, pushing her worries back into the back of her mind.

As they wandered down the main street, the other Hogwarts students peeled away, until all that was left was Tess, Tea, Hannah, Lily and the Marauders were wandering slowly down through Hogsmeade.

'Ok, is it just me or is Hogsmeade getting predictable?' Jess yawned.

'Just you,' Remus muttered. He was pale and there were rings under his eyes, but a smile lit his face as he held hands with Anthea.

Sirius snorted, scuffing his feet on the ground. 'There are better things, now, don't you reckon Moony? Hogsmeade is dodgy in comparison.'

'Didn't know you knew the meaning of 'comparison', Black,' Hannah sniffed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

'Nor did I!' He flashed a grin at her.

'What's that?'

'I said I didn't know the meaning of com-,' Sirius explained.

'No, that!' James said, pointed ahead. A group of hooded figures were gliding up the street towards them. Anthea gasped, her eyes wide with fear as one of the figures pointed their wand in the air and a smoky green shape appeared out of it, floating into the sky.

Lily moaned softly. 'The Dark Mark...'

'RUN!'

The eight of them spun around and pelted up towards the village again, spells ricocheting off the walls of the buildings that they sped past. Lily felt someone grab her hand and she was whisked around the corner of the nearest building. She pressed her back against the brick wall, chest heaving. Beside her, James had his wand out and he was edging towards the corner, peering around it to watch the advancing Death Eaters. Lily reached out, grasped his arm and hailed him back.

'Are you insane?'

James just stared at her. 'Tess and Tea.'

Lily's jaw dropped. Their father was a muggle. 'Where are they?'

'Tess is over there.' He pointed towards the barrels outside the apothecary. Sirius, Peter and Tess were huddling in the dark space between the wall and the barrels, eyes wide and terrified.

'Remus and Tea?'

'I don't know.'

Lily ran her hand through her hair nervously. She bit her lip as a voice echoed down the now seemingly deserted street.

'Come out, come out little children. Come and play.'

The Death Eaters sniggered and randomly blasted windows as they wandered down the street. James gasped next to her.

'Remus and Tea are behind them. They're... they're heading towards the Shrieking Shack.'

Lily leaned out a little. Six, cloaked and hooded figures were walking towards them, shooting random spells at anything that moved or anything that would break. Behind them, two figures were creeping across the street, eyes wide and locked on the Death Eater's backs. James turned back to look at Lily.

'They'll never make it without help.'

She stared up at him and nodded.

The Death Eaters never saw it coming. Heading down the seemingly deserted street, all of a sudden, spells blasted out from both sides of the street. Two of the hooded figures were knocked off their feet within seconds. The first scrambled to his knees and turned to pick up his wand. He looked up and his eyes locked with Anthea's. Her face drained white as he got to his feet and raised his wand.

'James!' Lily screamed, pointing at the Death Eater and Anthea, standing face to face.

She was too late.

'Avada Kedavra!'

The green jet of light blasted from his wand and Anthea fell back like a stone, just as a voice bellowed from the other end of the street.

Lily, her eyes wide with shock, turned to see who had cried out. Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall and a group of people she didn't recognise were tearing down the street wands waving and spells shooting towards the six cloaked figures. One by one, within three seconds, the Death Eaters all vanished.

'TEA!'

Tess rocketed from her hiding place, tearing herself from Sirius' restraining grasp and threw herself towards the crumpled figure on the ground. Remus was already there, kneeling beside the lifeless figure, his hand clutching her now icy cold one, as Tess dropped to her knees beside her twin sister.

Lily was standing a few feet away, James' arm around her. Sirius and Peter were standing just behind, Hannah leaning back against a nearby wall, her face in her hands.

Professor Dumbledore watched them all for a moment, then spoke quietly to James.

'Take the other's back to the school. Professor McGonagall will accompany you. Go straight to your common room and stay there.'

James nodded and steered Lily around, although her eyes stayed locked on Tess and Remus, huddling over the body of Anthea, spoke quietly to the others and the five of them, followed by Professor McGonagall, headed up towards the castle.


	24. A Letter to All Readers

_**Ladies and Gentlemen,**_

_**I think it's about time I finished my stories here. Unfortunately, as the final book has been released and read by every single Harry Potter fan out there **__**(or at least every single fan who has been reading my stories), I find it impossible to complete this one. At one point I may have had an ending, but somewhere along the way it was lost. **__**So, instead, I'd like to tell you a quick little story of mine. This is a true story and has been the crux of my existance for over four years. Almost five.**_

_**When I was fifteen years old, my mother handed me the first Harry Potter book and suggested I read it. I have always been a phenomenal reader and was eating my way through my mother's vast collection of novels when I was ten years old, so I found the idea of a children's book laughable. However, I couldn't fault my mother's taste and read Harry Potter and the Philospher's Stone by the next morning.**_

_**I think it's safe to say that I was hooked. I finished that one and the Chamber of Secrets, re-reading each multiple times. Through a stroke of luck I found a friend at school who was also captivated by Harry Potter and she suggested I try the Harry Potter Warner Bros. message boards, just to chat to people all over the world. **__**It was there that I fell into a world of make-believe and fantasy. It was easy to get lost in these daydreams and there I found some people who, like me, found imagination a lot more exciting that the real world. Roleplaying. I was then sixteen years old.**_

_**By my seventeenth birthday, I had made some steady 'friends'. We kept up a wall between us, using psuedonyms rather than honesty. Me, however... I never lied. Naivety, I'm assuming. Whatever it was, there was me (Beth), Joe, Jessi, Marcus, Leecie, Razzy, Emily and Tom. Over time, these people turned out to be Sean (Joe), Cat (Jessi), Bianca (Marcus AND Leecie, she's talented), Cath (Razzy) and Michelle (Tom). I don't remember what happened to Emily, she just happened to fade into the background. **__**We had our dramas, fights and make-ups but, inevitably, the majority of us remained in contact. Lately I've completely lost any connection with Michelle, who happens to live in the UK. Cat, Bianca and Sean, however... Well!**_

_**We met when we were children. When I was sixteen. On Tuesday of this coming week, I celebrate my twenty-first birthday. Sean will fly in to my home town tomorrow morning and Cat and I will be at the airport waiting for him. Bianca... I'm not sure when I'll next get a chance to see her, but we all have our own lives now. We still chat online, of course, but she lives a fair way away from me.**_

_**Now that I'm almost twenty-one I've lost all interest in writing fan-fiction, I'm sorry to say. Also, I could never finish this story, knowing what actually happens. Somewhere on this website you'll encounter someone who will be able to take the stories and twist them to write a plausible account of Lily and James' time at Hogwarts. I wish that person all the luck in the world and I hope that they continue on to become a genuine author. To create a story that fits, now that the books are complete, would be an achiement.**_

_**So thank you all for your comments, they're beautiful. And thank you for reading my work. I wrote this three years ago and haven't touched them since. Knowing they're still here and still being enjoyed... it leaves me speechless. For an idea of what our imaginations consisted of and what three years worth of roleplaying after school, before school, during school, on the weekends and any chance we got, I was lucky enough to be able to put together a story which is posted here amongst my other ones; The Other Side of Hogwarts.**_

_**Yet again, thank you all for reading. I am sorry I couldn't finish this one, but I'm elated you enjoyed it three years ago and are enjoying it still.**_

_**Yours truly,**_

_**Beth**_

_**P.S. If I were you, I'd check out the Author on this site; Bella Catherina. That would be Cat, who just happens to be graduating this year. Thank you. B.**_


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